I haven't written anything in such a long time. But while I sit, mesmerizing myself with OneRepublic's amazing music, I can't help wonder.... what would it be like to actually skip that ambitious desire for money and for once just lie back and count those sparkling stars?
The rush of infinite - a magnitude greater than all magnitudes. So immense, that your whole existence seems irrelevant to the universe. And maybe it really is that insignificant.
Anyways, the purpose of this random blog post was to update my dear readers about what has been up lately. So first of all, too many things are happening at the same time. And what I'd like to write about explicitly in this post is a concept I came up with. It was more like a thought that struck me while I was walking down to my Residence at one in the morning.
The entire complex was quiet. But not quiet in the eerie or unusual way. Quiet in a beautiful, calm way. The buildings rose like gigantic pillars of light, soft diffused golden light exploding in ample amounts at every level. In every column of glassy kitchens, in the silent floating corridors and the rippling curtains of every room. Not a single movement. The ghost of happy carefree laughter lingered around the foyer and the wind blew so peacefully, you could have almost heard it touch the grass. Somewhere in the background I could hear the gushing sound of fountains, or just running water, or maybe it was the graceful movement of fish in the pond back at Residence One. I don't know, I didn't want to know.
For that one moment as I walked slowly, an unavoidable thought struck me. What if everything just stopped? What if time just froze? This element of our life which is in an evergreen state of motion. This time which controls every part of us, everything we do or say. Just now, just then. Just stopped.
I wanted to be caught in that frame of life forever. That lovely moment where the world is at peace. It is not too late for everyone to be asleep, it's not too early for everyone to be awake. It's just perfect and the world is just still and quiet. The lights will be dim and pretty like in the movies and The Rocks will still be the most romantic spot for couples. The Foyer will be alive with incoming visitors, maybe people who just landed from long tiring flights. The dark building rising in one corner was once a Restaurant and is now a Supermarket and we will all keep wondering what else they would set up in there for days to come. The Back Gate will have this haunting aura of stolen delights; young men smoking on the stairs, completely oblivious to everything else. The Fast Food outlet, which was bursting with life just about an hour back will be subdued and silent as the student helpers retire from the day's work.
But my friends, what would my friends be doing now? And I run through that list of all my precious family members away from home and I realize that I just know who will be where. I know some of them will be "chilling" in a room which has an AC, because well who wouldn't flock to an AC anyways? I know that some will be back at Residence 6 playing an extremely entertaining round of Head's Up! Someone will be cooking themselves a nice midnight snack and someone will be busy studying like there is no tomorrow. Someone will be thrashing another person's avatar in a fierce video game. Someone will be enjoying a late night drink from a bottle they bought right before they bring down the blinds at 7/11. And someone, maybe someone, will be thinking about all kinds of crazy thoughts like I do and penning them down too. :)
I could travel to every single person and back. Because I just know where they will be, I just know that I will always find my way back to them. The only regret I had at that very moment was that I was not with them all. I was alone, just me and my thoughts.
However, the sudden realization that all these events will stop forever in another two years, is shocking. That we will never "chill" together the way we do now because as time goes by, lives will entangle and break apart, and everything will change. In this crazy race for money, success and happiness we will forget these little tiny moments that brought us bursts of joy. Or maybe we won't. Maybe we will actually give up on the big picture of life and embrace these little moments. Maybe we will always meet and keep meeting and keep collecting these memories until they are so infinite, that they will become like those eternal stars. Imprinted in the mind which is a dark, gloriously black night sky. And some day we will realize that the big picture in life is after all, not the dollars and the praises and the work. It's a huge photo frame full of small pictures of the times we spent with our loved ones. And it's a frame worth keeping.
These thoughts had simply blended into my sub-conscious. And as soon as I reached Residence 4, I had formed one tiny resolution. I would (for a change) live every moment in the present. Really, truly absorb every second spent with people. Because after all, obstacles are meant to come and go, bonds are meant to break and mend, but if you want to soar like a blissful phoenix, then you have to die to be reborn again.
Because to live is to capture every frame of life like a screenshot on your phone.
Because to fly, you need wings and every memory is like a magical feather.
Because it's time to sign off but I really, really can't do that without quoting OneRepublic; so:
I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line....
.....Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
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