Sweet Intoxication

Rediscovering Childhood Dreams on Bookshelves

It's strange how one day in vacation equals an eternity in the life of someone who plainly has not much to do. However, by the end of this summer, I will still be surprised at how time flew by so fast.

It's an unusual concept, this 'time', isn't it?

Well, life away from my extended family (note : my wonderfully ridiculous friends) is harder than I thought. No maniacal laughing at random jokes, no innovative catchphrases, no collective fangirl-ing and basically NO FUN.

SO what I thought I would do, to 'kill' this disturbingly slow movement of time, was rummage through the bookshelf. I've been so thankful to my parents for never saying 'No' when I asked for a book. In fact I would like to thank all the Gods in the Universe (Note: Indian, Greek, Roman, Celtic, Norse, Egyptian etc etc) for giving me the most fantastic set of parents a dedicated bookworm could ask for.

By the time I was 13, my Dad had created a reasonably large library in the house. However, while my parents devoured all those non-fiction bestsellers, I took refuge in Fantasy.


I was nine when I started my journey with Harry; I daresay I should have been eleven. And it took enormous self-effort on my part (not to melt into dramatic sobs) when I did not receive my Hogwarts letter two years later. Well, I guess the Owl must have lost its way. It lost it's way for most of us actually.

I was always fascinated by the beautiful friendship portrayed by Rowling, the relationship between Harry and Sirius, and most of all the unexplained and complex character of Snape. I guess the reason why I dragged my parents to the bookshop/theater every time a new book/movie released was because I could not wait to escape the dreary reality to find solace within that world. That world where friendship was pure and untainted, courage a necessary virtue and love, undeniably the strongest emotion on the planet.


By the time I was fifteen, I had finished reading almost all of Tolkien's works because there could be no fantasy trilogy more riveting than the Lord of The Rings, nor stories more enthralling than the ones located on Middle-Earth.

What managed to captivate me the most was Tolkien's amazing ability to create Lands out of thin air. The ability to create Languages. I was lost in the beautiful magnificence of Rivendell, Lothlorien and Gondor. I drew images of what those places would look like before I saw the movies. I wrote about my own interpretations of his lyrical poems that filled the books. This phase was extraordinary; I was most productive as a writer than I had ever been in my entire Life. And I don't quite think I ever managed to forgive Peter Jackson for cutting out Tom Bombadil from the movies...I was looking forward to that!

Lothlorien, is by far my favourite.

These books were a sweet intoxication. As much as I tried to reduce the time I spent thinking about them, it never really worked. However, after Harry had defeated Voldemort and Frodo had safely reached the Grey Havens, I realized there was something starkly missing in my life.

It pained me to notice the obvious weaknesses in myself and in everyone around me. Nobody and nothing was perfect. I was never brave enough to fight for or protect what I wanted. I didn't have that one friend who would stand by me through thick and thin. I didn't have that companion whom I could trust with all my life and rely on for everything. Basically, there was no Harry, Ron or Hermione in my Life and I was definitely not happy about it. There was no noble Gandalf to whisk me away for an adventure and there was no loyal Samwise. Worst of all, there was no one I could complain to about these significant deficiencies because well, everyone would think I had lost it.

Now, I'm almost 20, and I get this feeling that I never really grew out of my childhood. And this feeling (trust me) is wonderful and sad at the same time.


So the first thing I did when I reached home is this. I tried to squeeze myself through all kinds of suitcases (with books inside), to reach one of the bookshelves where Middle-Earth and Hogwarts stood side by side. And I surrounded myself with volumes of both these magnificent lands, hoping I would never have to move from MY SPOT (oh what a Sheldon) until the world ends.

But this time as I read, I realized that the friendship, the chivalry and the love was differently placed in my life. I could see it in my family, and in my friends. I could trace the events in the books to the moments I spent with them, engrossed in blissful conversation. One year in college showed me that (even if you fail your modules) there is one thing that you absolutely cannot fail in. Your cultivation of happy relationships. To fight against all kinds of odds, to preserve what you love the most. To be a family that no Voldemort or Sauron could penetrate through. It was like Enlightenment, knowing that these virtues and vices the authors talked about were not meant to personified. They were meant to be experienced.

I came to realize how perfectly wonderful my life is.
That everything was present all along.
That I was simply too young to figure it all out back then.
That the World of Hogwarts has a place in the Heart.
That War and Peace in Middle-Earth is just a state of mind.

Hi There Old Town :)

Kolkata, Summer 2013:

Stepping into your country always brings about a flood of unexplained emotions. I'd like to think of a song to describe it all but at the moment I really can't find any, so let me just go with the flow.

I actually expected to be greeted by the hot scorching rays of the sun, but I had a pleasant surprise in store for me. While the other parts of the country melted under the heat, my little suburban home dissolved in the waters of cool summer rain. And it's amazing how the smell of softened mud seeping into the air makes you feel at home in this land which always welcomes Monsoons with heartwarming gratitude.

As I sit near the window of my old country house, I can actually smell the tranquil river breeze. It drifts in from the Ganges, that twirls along gracefully not very far away from my home. The sky is blue yet smudged with patches of dull grey which make it seem all the more natural for an Indian sky. The pigeons line up on the crisscrossing telephone wires. Somewhere down the road behind my house, I hear the sound of the train as it speeds past the little suburbs and the river and heads for the country.

Evenings here are always beautiful. Whether you sit on the terrace walls watching the mellow sunset or catch a ride to the "Ghat", a term coined for the steps leading into the river. I have been down there many times and when I was young I used to wonder where the launches disappeared to after they left the river bank. As the sun dips below the horizon, the boats turn into twinkling stars on the dark waters that rush to the south with unimaginably strong current. If you look properly, you can notice the dusky outlines of buildings and temples that comprise the opposite bank, and sometimes (if you're lucky) they are lit up magnificently.

Soon enough, all those silent bungalows down the lane fill up with limitless glow and the cheerful chatter of reunited families reaches your ear. Life here is very similar to Austen's novels. So accomplished are the women in music that it unnerves the occasional traveler to hear the fleeting notes from the keyboard or the shimmering tunes of the sitar floating out from the windows. There's always a general excitement with the arrival of guests from the city and girls flock to the balconies to watch them alight. If only they were to come on horse carriages and not fancy cars!

If Austen described the gentry who lived in the country with so much elegance, she had a good reason to do so.

So do I, as I watch the women who exit their affluent homes and proceed to the glittering bazaars. They are often dressed in bright colors, something I never really get to see in Singapore. There's a chorus of laughter in the air and you could be sure that they were heading down to watch one of Tagore's many plays that was being staged in the community hall. Bengalis definitely love their art and literature.  

Summer time, though a horrid mess of humidity and heatwaves, is much peaceful for the suburbs. I could spend the next 100 days of my life reading, or painting or doing just about anything I ever wanted to.
There's a slight problem though.

I always have the tendency to sit and plan out every move in life. However, I'm going to walk through this summer vacation with absolute ease. No plans, no expectations and most of all, no commitments. It takes a certain amount of resolve to accept whatever Life gives without complaining, and that includes the fair share of excitement and fun which comes along with summer.

Here's to a wonderful summer full of unexpected joys and thrilling adventures!

A Semester's Worth Of Magic

Here's to SIX lessons I learnt this Semester, coupled with all those magical moments with my amazing friends and I put in a few Pinterest Photos because, well I like them.

I'll start with an insignificant personal lesson.

1. TIME = $$$$$$ 

I have PATHETIC Time Management skills. And when I say it, I mean it. 2 projects, 1 Term Paper and a few annoyingly dramatic presentations. Reaching the lab/meeting room as early as 9 am, spending the entire day slogging and heading back 'home' at 10 pm. It could have been worse. Except that one night when I returned at 11 pm, took one look at my room that resembled a dustbin and fell asleep on the floor.


Note to self: Next semester, PLAN your time properly. And please. Please throw that clock on your shelf which stopped working a decade ago and get a new one. That would help. 

Ok maybe this wasn't that insignificant after all.

2. BE HAPPY, BE REALLY REALLY HAPPY. 

Happiness is such a great choice. I could spend all the time submerging myself in an ocean of guilt and sorrow. But seriously, if an Architect friend of mine could be that chill about studies, I can too. God knows what this college wants to do with Engineers and Architects. But in the end, what really matters is enjoying what you're doing, finding joy in those little moments of pain. Life is short. Make mistakes, fall in trouble, get drunk ;) but in the end dissolve everything and simply be happy.

It's all about creating castles of bittersweet bliss in the sky and watching them fade away as new memories are made.






3. TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS IRREPLACEABLE.

I'm so thankful to all the Gods (with/without debatable existence) for showering me with the most fantastic set of friends in the Universe. Whether it is sitting in the front row of a ridiculously popular movie sequel with our feet in the air, or driving down town to that exotic enthralling night life in Clarke Quay. Whether it is mugging into the late nights inside the freezing reading rooms, or chit-chatting in someone's cluster kitchen after midnight. Whether it's playing countless rounds of Pictionary or bellowing the lyrics of old Hindi songs from the back seat of a cab.

Those priceless moments of sublime happiness are what kept me going. They will forever and always.
                                                                                           

4. LIFE IS A MIXTURE BLENDER.

So you have a friend who is always lost in a dreamworld. Or a friend who is brutally straightforward about everything. Or someone who is sweet enough to be akin to angels. Or just maybe, someone who is as hopeless a romantic as you are.
And soon enough, someday you will become a complex and beautiful mixture of everyone you spend time with. You'll hear yourself speak in a manner you would have never adopted had it been for someone else ("Controlll", "That's it!", "Verrrry Good!").



You'll watch yourself change from being the same old boring YOU to someone a great deal more colorful, and guess what, a great deal more FUN!






5. FORGIVE, AND HELL YEAH, FORGET. 

The world can be really nasty. People will back stab you, bully you and throw you over. They'll make up vicious lies about you and spread them around for the world to behold. But a good friend once said, "When an elephant walks by, dogs will bark. But this magnanimous beast walks straight through without bothering." So if you really want to make it BIG, be like that calm and gentle elephant.

Thanks buddy, this piece of advice will take all of us a long way.






6. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, GUYS.

It is. There's so much to do, so much to learn. It's an amazing time for all of us to come together and discuss books, movies, music and most of all, intelligent ideas and innovations. I'm so grateful that within this span of three months, I watched a few awesome films, read some heart-rending classics and met some lovely people. I went to some different places and absorbed the ambience of various unforgettable locations.

It changes how I think about the world and somewhere down there, it's a building block on my tower of experience.

If you haven't watched this movie you don't deserve to
live. Nah, kidding. 

Last but not least, I decided to engage my passion for the first time in two years. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to create a Blog! I enjoy every minute painting these little literary creations. There has been a gradual evolution of interests, from spending pointless hours of the day staring blankly into oblivion to actually sitting down and pouring my heart out into words.





Life seems to make so much more sense now. After all, our mind is a canvas of emotions and no matter how we hold the brush, there will always be a splash of glittering hues for us to look back on.