I'd like to spend,
a million years wondering,
silently pondering, this little
thing.
This absolutely nothing,
this meaningless vision,
this paper palace that
You call.
That you call Us.
I'd count a few,
a few countless stars
In the heaven up there
Figuring.
Calculating the geometry
of constellations
Spelling your name out
in pieces of two or three
There's so much,
so much sparkle.
I'd watch those ship lights
As they go down
Drowning like my,
Like my thoughts.
And hopefully by the time
We are dead and gone,
At least a few ship lights
Will remind them of us.
A few but
Not too many.
I'd watch the smoke rise
Out from filthy
cigarettes that floated
In unruly suburbs.
I hated them,
But I'd still watch the
Twirling rings of smoke
Just because.
They were illusions
Of suffering lives.
I'd gaze at the glitter,
The bazaars down south
Near the sea,
Because the sea
Always called.
It always called survivors
And the waves lapped
and I loved it just the same.
Because I loved it
A bit more that always.
And I dived carelessly
A thousand leagues
Under blue, oh blue water
I found.
I found peace
A dormant piece of
Unlikely hope in the blue.
So radiant, a little flicker,
Some what a bit,
some what like you.
While I stitched words
Together, words of.
Of stringent happiness
So beautiful,
Like bubbles of painless suffering.
I clung to the curtains,
Of this story you called Us.
But I loved it just the same.
Just, pretty much, the same.
The sweetest realizations in Life happen when you're out in the rain.
When those gleaming drops of heavenly water land on your face as you look upward to the clouds. When the sound of water, soothing as it is, creates a harmony that links strangers together. When it's simply all about running in the rain, singing aloud all the rain songs you can remember, mumbling through half of them because you obviously forgot the lyrics. But, singing anyways. Cold, stinging rain that some how manages to warm the chambers of your heart. And you have no idea how or why.
Yesterday, was my favorite Rainy Friday. The week had been hectic, the work had piled up on my desk pretty much like a skyscraper of lecture notes that I wanted to avoid so desperately. Since the last few days, I haven't been very interested in anything at all. I don't feel like going out and playing some sport, or indulging myself in good food or for that matter, even going to a party. Life has slowed down from a fast-paced hip hop extravaganza to a nerdy anthem of sorts. And trust me, none of them really help at a time like this. I'm not depressed or happy or anything at all. I've reached a feeling of neutral boredom where I submerge myself in whatever the hell makes me feel good.
So I actually kept everything aside for an hour, dropped by at my friend's place and then after a short interval (where we debated about where to keep our electronic gadgets) we made the most awesome decision of the day. We abandoned all the work and all the stress and more noticeably, all our other friends (hehehe that was uncalled for) to step out into the rain. The biting cold rain which could easily give all of us the 'fever'. But who cares about all that anyways.
What really mattered is walking down the rain washed roads in hostel backyards and singing songs. What really mattered is building castles in the air, imagining the possibilities that could be and could not be. And talking about antique bookstores and french cafes and a little bit of movie romance. Discovering that our lives were so intertwined, and re-discovering that if only these lives had intersected some time before we would have had so much time together.
Perhaps the most awe-inspiring part of this little stress-buster, was plotting story lines. My story, your story. Where will we be in ten years? Somewhere down there I feel extremely happy that I managed to bring out the hopeless romantic in my friend. Everyone has that side, few show it and few don't. But no one can deny that illustrating a little imaginative Flynn Rider or Mr. Darcy or <insert favorite person> can do wonders to matters of the heart.
No, this shower was chilly, the cold crept into my veins and almost shattered the warmth I had managed to generate by hugging myself. This was not the filmy Indian monsoon where you can hold an umbrella and prance along in the flooded streets. This was different. But refreshing on so many levels. I realized that sometimes you just ought to let go. And sometimes even if you feel out of place, you will know that on the other side of the fence lies a world of people who feel the same way as you do. The people who love you are those who listen to you and stay up all night just to make sure you don't go to sleep with a frown. And sometimes, being different is being happy.
The rain stopped soon. The cup of hot coffee never really happened, because I was just too tired to move. And despite a million deadlines racing ahead, the next morning when the sunlight flooded into my room, I woke up with a rainbow in my heart. :)
On a day like this, with a light patter of rain shooting onto my window pane, I can't do more than listen to music and write and think about all the beautiful things in life I should be thankful for.
It often happens that you hear a song, and you instantly fall in love with it. And you listen to it on repeat, in your room, while reading, in the shower, in the cafe, inside the lecture hall, outside the Interview Room, and possibly in all those extra normal places where usually nothing ever happens. I don't think that this is the right method to approach a favorite song (you kind of get bored of it too soon) but then again there are songs which never burn out.
I heard 'Beautiful Mess' by Jason Mraz after almost a year, and I fell in love with it all over again. People like music because of various reasons; some people judge an artist by the genre of music, some like the beats, some like the choice of instrument and some like the innovative lyrics. I've loved reading lyrical ballads ever since I was a child, and it is no wonder that I judge a song by the pattern of words which knit it together - the lyrics.
So for a change, I decided to interpret 'Beautiful Mess' in my own words, yes pretty much like a song review. But I plan to do so against all the other interpretations that the Internet has come up about it, because strangely enough I found my own meaning to it. And I choose to do so (despite all the other lovely songs on the planet) because I think this song deserves a special mention for the combined lucidity and complexity of it's lyrics.
Before going on, I suggest you listen to this song, if you haven't heard it already.
Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
Most people think this song is about a traditional long-distance relationship. I beg to differ. Obviously, this song is about a woman, more specifically a lover of the singer's.
But Mraz talks about a woman who is a blend of black and white. She is a jig-saw puzzle of virtues and vices. The woman is one of her kind, and she has a good way with words. She's a writer, or a poet, or a lyricist. He loves her despite all her flaws and he realizes that the fact that they have been together for so long, going through a billion ups and downs, shows how solidified their love is.
There is a small hint of sinful happiness in this song. Mraz believes that the girl brings a beam of joy into his life and she does it in an impeccable style of her own. So cursive, so elegant, joined together in a mix of rights and wrongs. But she is so reckless, she ends up making so many mistakes on the way, and he blames her mood swings for being the source of his happiness! (yeah, I mean how did he just do that?)
The chorus of this song is the best piece of music I have heard in ages.
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are, here we are
He calls her and this whole situation "a beautiful mess". This is such a lovely contradiction. I haven't heard anything like it. She's such a mess, she's like a tray of unwanted things, yet she is so beautiful unlike anything he has ever seen. When she writes poems/songs/stories about love, her words drive through his heart like blades. They are harsh, they are blatantly rude and she has no concern for his feelings. Although she calls it fiction, he knows they are true and yet he loves to see her contradict him, because these contradictions make her what she is. : a beautiful mess.
And what a beautiful mess this is It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes
And through timeless words in priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth And tides they turn and hearts disfigure But that's no concern when we're wounded together And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it
The song keeps coming back to 'words' which I again believe are wrenched apart from the manuscript the woman is writing about their relationship. The words they say to each other, the times they spend together. What really separates this relationship from most of the other songs that Mraz has written, is the depth of reality in it.
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure/But that's no concern when we're wounded together.
It's so beautiful how he compresses a whole lifetime of truth into these two lines. In a relationship, both man and woman are hurt together. You can only be perfect soul mates if your partner is like your mirror. :) You go through hell, you go through a painful dramatic sequence (yes, like in the movies), you WAIT and finally in the end you come clean and everything is suddenly worth it.
While I sit with my own collection of words and look out at the lush greens imprinted with rain, I wonder who Mraz's inspiration for 'Beautiful Mess' was. What was she really like? Was she really a woman of contradictions? The whole allure of a man of contradictions is unlike any other. I'd rely on a man who is a patchwork of a million colourful conflicts to be my inspiration. Because how can you not love someone who is so faulty but yet so real?
I'd listen to this song on repeat for the rest of my life, but never quite figure out how the singer crafted it so well. Maybe it would take a 'beautiful mess' of a person, or a bit of falling in love. Both of which, would be wonderful :)
