Of Remarkable Semesters, and stuff :)

One more semester down; officially 2 and a half more years left. And this amazing phase of life called 'College' will have passed like a midsummer night's dream. So, while we are at it, I have decided to continue the tradition of writing one end-of-semester blog post to re-capture the hell lot of fun we manage to have every sem! :)

I could just end this with a High School Musical Moment (* WE'RE ALL IN THIIIIS TOGETHERRR!! *) But I don't want to be steamrolled for my poor choice of endings. So I'm going to go with the flow.

1. It's a movie, the whole thing. 

Remember those days when you used to watch movies and daydream about the possibilities of your journey colliding with a jackpot-of-a-life like that hero's?! Actually what the hell. We still do that. I mean, I don't see HOW you can watch Avengers without wanting to be Iron Man. 

But really, I just realized that if I look at our lives in college from an outsider's point of view, it's pretty much as good as a movie. In fact, so many incidents have happened one after the other, cascading pretty much like a movie plot and culminating with amazing night-outs; I don't think we have the right to complain about how uninteresting our lives are. 

But life, like all other movies comes with a series of ups and downs; and when I look back, I'm so proud of all of us. We handle everything beautifully. That's all that matters.

Lights, Camera, Life!

                                                  

2. Fanaticism is real, and it is happening.

I mean of course it is. So The Free Dictionary defines as fanatic as:

A person marked or motivated by an extreme, unreasoning enthusiasm, as for a cause.

Well, I don't know about the unreasoning part. The extreme part is true alright, because this semester I did launch into a completely maddening phase of fanaticism. And it's all for a cause; a good cause. Some times you don't need to have your feet stuck to the ground. So whether it's a collective stalking of Benedict Cumberbatch or Tom Hiddleston; or simply an obsession with a series of your favorite books turning into movies/ TV Shows; it's all the same. 

Tumblr is suddenly your religion. Planning to ditch that website before Sherlock spoilers come out anyways. And someone please do something about my Loki fever.

                

Note: This tends to happen in short phases; and can be at times extremely dangerous when you fail to guess a reference (or a quiz question) about your Fandom. 

3. Head's Up is freaking awesome.

Anyone who thinks other wise has no life.

So if you have NOT heard of Ellen's new app (at least for a while) then something could be terribly wrong with you. I suggest a switch in lifestyle; maybe you should stop living under a rock and come out in the sun for a change. 

After spending hours playing with categories like songs, movies, animals, food, places and I don't know what not; I was pretty convinced that I can't guess for nuts. Especially movies and famous people. Really, what have I been doing all my  life? How do I not know ANY of these people? 

And this makes you want to question the whole purpose of your life; and the lives of others too (when they can't guess obvious answers <*cough* Where's the Love Tonight? *cough*> OR derail from the whole track to guess something else <*cough* Becoming hot after graduation? *cough*>).

Warning: Addictive and can be highly dangerous/beneficial for people with self-confidence issues.

Which brings me to the next most happening event of the semester.

4. EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

And I think it happened to almost everyone here at the same time. Why am I living? What is the purpose of my apathetic nonsensical life? And when this particular crisis hits you, everything suddenly comes to a grinding halt. Your life becomes a fat question mark that doesn't seem to budge from the way. 

And then you spend a few days, munching on chocolates and swallowing a few tubs of ice cream. Preferably with a laptop in front of you with Youtube videos running on repeat. Ultimately, you come to the conclusion that you were born to eat awesome food, so if nothing works out just cook food and eat. Or actually, just keep eating. It helps. 

In case you are wondering, this dude made a really cool video on existential crisis; and yeah that's him lying face down on the ground.

                                       

5. Honey Singh. Need I elaborate?

I don't know WHAT his music comprises of. Some kind of intoxicating drug I guess. There's a magical thrill in memorizing those lyrics, foot-tapping to his beats and playing every song on repeat. What do you need in a party other than Honey Singh?  I think I'll look back to the Chalet Party as one of the most fun-filled nights of my life. Great venue, great dancing and most of all, great music to top it all up. 

And with that, I can safely conclude that Blue Eyes was the song of our batch this semester.


                                  


A few other unrelated tracks which kept all of us mesmerized were:

a. Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
b. Royals - Lorde
c. Counting Stars - OneRepublic
d. If I Lose Myself - OneRepublic
e. Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

Moving on...

6. I wish that I could be your Superman Tonight (today, tomorrow, every time, for the rest of my life)

For those of you who got the Bon Jovi reference, you rock. 

So ever since Thor hit the theaters last month, I don't think I could spend a single day without refreshing my Marvel knowledge. Not like I followed every series religiously. But it's fun how superheroes make your life seem absolutely ordinary; and yet you get that surging feeling of the magnitude of the world's problems (compare that to your absolutely tiny problem - studies.) And then you feel all good about life, until a deadline knocks you back to reality.  

Oh and it's funny how this sub-title mentions a DC super hero, whom I don't really like as much as my Marvel favorites. But you can't really hate Super Man. I mean he's the first super hero you come to know about. Well, maybe. Or Shaktiman. But that's well, never mind. 

Here are pictures of two of my favorite Marvel characters.

Ironman. Tony Stark. Cannot. 

Rogue, my absolute favorite. 

         

7. Concerts are Mind-Blowing!!

And the worst thing is they come into your life like a spike of alcohol in your coke. You simply can't have enough of it. Then before you know it you are drunk with the exhilaration of the moment, the amazing music and the presence of your favorite Youtube Music Artists. And the next morning you wake up with a massive hangover. 

You never know the crazy impact of a concert, until you go to one. And once you are done screaming your lungs out, singing every single song on the planet that you absolutely love; and after you return to that monotony of your daily routine; you will finally be able to imbibe that evanescent evening into your heart.

First concert: Boyce Avenue. The amazing thrill, the feels! 

                               

8. Quizzing can be Deadly.

I really don't know how to express this with the exact amount of concern. But during the exams, there was a major addiction to a Quizzing Page on Facebook that spread like an epidemic. I have NEVER been so eager to gain knowledge and feel like the dumbest person in the Universe at the same time. It's more than just answering, it's reading the question for five minutes, realizing you know absolutely NOTHING about that piece of fact and then watching others race you to the end line, with the perfect answer.

Do I even have one of those thinking caps?

                                     

Not knowing, is most naturally the truest form of self-destruction on this planet.

9. Ted Mosby(s) don't exist.

They really don't. Neither the architect, nor the lover. If this world ran by the principles of Ted, then we would all be in deep shit. We would be sitting at a bus stop for eternity, waiting for the special someone to walk by with a yellow umbrella. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about being a hopeless as romantic as I always was, because I think what really matters in college is solidifying friendship and knowing that one will be there for another in times of crisis. And when the time comes, everything will fall in place. :)


                

10. Don't you worry child, Heaven's got a plan for you :)

A grand one that too. There's a plan for everyone and everything. And there is no way you can avoid this plan. It's like a mixture of fate twists and pathetic obstacles but also timeless happiness. Sometimes you do screw up, but it's all part of the plan.

I personally wanted to write one more point about cats too, but I'm afraid people who hate these awfully cute creatures (there are a great number of such people by the way), will never visit my blog again.

Sorry, I tried. I tired so hard, but this picture JUST HAD TO GO IN.

             

This semester wasn't exactly a joyride. It was a jerking revelation that Life is not just about the petty problems we face every day. I learnt so much and with every passing day, I reveled in the company of the people I have come to love. That is more than enough and I know that despite all the norms and rules of college life, it is we who define the limits of our ecstasy. And for my extended family here, the bounds are limitless. And this is perhaps, the reason why I am not really looking forward to graduation. :P

Anyways, that's probably it. Hope you all have an amazing vacation! :)

Love ya. Peace. Bye. 

No More Counting Dollars, We'll Be Counting Stars.

I haven't written anything in such a long time. But while I sit, mesmerizing myself with OneRepublic's amazing music, I can't help wonder.... what would it be like to actually skip that ambitious desire for money and for once just lie back and count those sparkling stars?

The rush of infinite - a magnitude greater than all magnitudes. So immense, that your whole existence seems irrelevant to the universe. And maybe it really is that insignificant.


                              



Anyways, the purpose of this random blog post was to update my dear readers about what has been up lately. So first of all, too many things are happening at the same time. And what I'd like to write about explicitly in this post is a concept I came up with. It was more like a thought that struck me while I was walking down to my Residence at one in the morning.

The entire complex was quiet. But not quiet in the eerie or unusual way. Quiet in a beautiful, calm way. The buildings rose like gigantic pillars of light, soft diffused golden light exploding in ample amounts at every level. In every column of glassy kitchens, in the silent floating corridors and the rippling curtains of every room. Not a single movement. The ghost of happy carefree laughter lingered around the foyer and the wind blew so peacefully, you could have almost heard it touch the grass. Somewhere in the background I could hear the gushing sound of fountains, or just running water, or maybe it was the graceful movement of fish in the pond back at Residence One. I don't know, I didn't want to know.

For that one moment as I walked slowly, an unavoidable thought struck me. What if everything just stopped? What if time just froze? This element of our life which is in an evergreen state of motion. This time which controls every part of us, everything we do or say. Just now, just then. Just stopped.


I wanted to be caught in that frame of life forever. That lovely moment where the world is at peace. It is not too late for everyone to be asleep, it's not too early for everyone to be awake. It's just perfect and the world is just still and quiet. The lights will be dim and pretty like in the movies and The Rocks will still be the most romantic spot for couples. The Foyer will be alive with incoming visitors, maybe people who just landed from long tiring flights. The dark building rising in one corner was once a Restaurant and is now a Supermarket and we will all keep wondering what else they would set up in there for days to come. The Back Gate will have this haunting aura of stolen delights; young men smoking on the stairs, completely oblivious to everything else. The Fast Food outlet, which was bursting with life just about an hour back will be subdued and silent as the student helpers retire from the day's work.

But my friends, what would my friends be doing now? And I run through that list of all my precious family members away from home and I realize that I just know who will be where. I know some of them will be "chilling" in a room which has an AC, because well who wouldn't flock to an AC anyways? I know that some will be back at Residence 6 playing an extremely entertaining round of Head's Up! Someone will be cooking themselves a nice midnight snack and someone will be busy studying like there is no tomorrow. Someone will be thrashing another person's avatar in a fierce video game. Someone will be enjoying a late night drink from a bottle they bought right before they bring down the blinds at 7/11. And someone, maybe someone, will be thinking about all kinds of crazy thoughts like I do and penning them down too. :)


I could travel to every single person and back. Because I just know where they will be, I just know that I will always find my way back to them. The only regret I had at that very moment was that I was not with them all. I was alone, just me and my thoughts.


However, the sudden realization that all these events will stop forever in another two years, is shocking. That we will never "chill" together the way we do now because as time goes by, lives will entangle and break apart, and everything will change. In this crazy race for money, success and happiness we will forget these little tiny moments that brought us bursts of joy. Or maybe we won't. Maybe we will actually give up on the big picture of life and embrace these little moments. Maybe we will always meet and keep meeting and keep collecting these memories until they are so infinite, that they will become like those eternal stars. Imprinted in the mind which is a dark, gloriously black night sky. And some day we will realize that the big picture in life is after all, not the dollars and the praises and the work. It's a huge photo frame full of small pictures of the times we spent with our loved ones. And it's a frame worth keeping.


These thoughts had simply blended into my sub-conscious. And as soon as I reached Residence 4, I had formed one tiny resolution. I would (for a change) live every moment in the present. Really, truly absorb every second spent with people. Because after all, obstacles are meant to come and go, bonds are meant to break and mend, but if you want to soar like a blissful phoenix, then you have to die to be reborn again.

Because to live is to capture every frame of life like a screenshot on your phone.
Because to fly, you need wings and every memory is like a magical feather.

Because it's time to sign off but I really, really can't do that without quoting OneRepublic; so:

I see this life like a swinging vine

Swing my heart across the line....

.....Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.  

The Strawberry Drink

                                                 

I woke up this morning with a hangover quite unlike the ones I am used to. This was a sweet feeling, sweeter than the fleeting strawberry scent in my mouth. It must have been the drink. Well, I don't know. I didn't feel dizzy, I didn't feel tired. The truth is I didn't feel awake at all. It must be a dream, this faint sensation of memory-loss. It's like I don't remember what happened last night, or the night before, or what happened many, many nights before.

I turn my head to the side, still lying on the bed. I catch a glimpse of the mirror and I see the hazy surface. The misty droplets of water condensing on the silver. It was incredibly hot since the past few days, I do remember the crazy heat driving me to the river. There's nothing like the river for a cold treat. Maybe it had rained last night, the world has been such a blur I wouldn't even know. Maybe there had been a storm, a hurricane, even if the universe had come to a still, I wouldn't have known.

I spy my face in between the glass, an expression caught in the mirror like a wet photograph. There's smudged mascara, my eyes look hideous. Except they don't. They have always looked hideous but not today. Today they looked like someone who had won a losing battle. Like crushed coal on hot tar. Still gleaming, a wondrous fiery black unlike any other. Hair, tangled into curls, looking like dark silken ribbons, except they were not as beautiful. They were untidy, unkempt, the way you look when you wake up after a long night, and you have no idea how or why you can't remember anything at all.

You are so unbelievably love drunk. In love with everything and everyone. In love with life and in love with love. In love with the great big yellow sun and in love with the wide blue ocean. How can you not love all these creations of God? He who sat and made all these little things, like a baby would make his clay toys. So imperfect, but you would love them anyways. So innocently exotic are his creations. Even the plainest of human beings are worth admiring and even the most evil of characters are worth applauding.

I sit up on my bed, and I feel the world moving in a kind of fast motion beneath me. It's like the floor
is slipping away. I'm not even drunk. The alcohol never even reached my lips, I had been asleep since I don't know when. It wasn't the weather that lulled me to sleep, it wasn't even the fragrance of those tropical leaves on my desk, flying in with the wind and floating about my room. Maybe it was that voice in the phone, a deep, sweetening voice. Or maybe , just maybe I don't know what happened last night. Maybe I slept off, without meaning to and Peter Pan flew in and took me to Neverland.

How would I know? If fairy dust could be seen, then my hands and feet would be sparkling. But Peter doesn't take women who are old. He takes young girls and I am no longer Wendy. I was once upon a time, a very dedicated little Wendy. But I grew up, I left those castles behind in my nursery and I rose like a phoenix and flew every new day and remembered everything when I woke up. Except today, today I could not remember a thing.

I thought of what I wanted. I wanted happiness in every form. And I had a sublime happiness in everything. Except I knew I was impulsive enough to be a brat at times. An annoying one that too. I thought about my impulsiveness quite often. And I scolded myself often.

The mirror looked like it would crack, the mist had gripped it very tightly. I walked up to the glass and blew away the fogginess. My face was unimaginably blank for a person who had just had an adventure. So many wonderful things happened with me all the time. I studied my lips for a little longer than always, they were artificially red. A kind of bright scarlet which I did not like.

My feet ached, around the ankle where the heels had piercingly dealt a painful pressure. Don't move, I thought. But standing still was not an option. I glided to the desk, as if in a dream and my phone, lay sprawled, with a dead screen. So disconnected from everything. Did I lose my memory? Did some one hit me on my head with something very heavy? I would never know. I didn't know if someone was there with me last night. I just knew that I was sleeping.

The sweet deadening sleep, which coursed through my veins like the strawberry drink which laced my lips. The day was cloudy, the mist was floating in and despite all the light headed thoughts that bubbled in my brain, I felt detached from reality.

And for the first time I looked out of the window. A world of clouds and filtering sunshine and reminiscent greenery. It struck me like a dart through the mist. Quite caught by surprise. The memory loss, the rain, the hangover which did not quite fit.

The view outside the window was wonderfully pleasant. If I were not already dead, I would have been delighted. Heaven would have been a great story to tell my friends. Magnificent, simple, glorious heaven.
Oh, yes.

                                   

For Ramya :)

I don't know if people actually do this. Do they write blog posts for people on their birthdays? I've never done this for anyone else. But then again you are not just anyone else :)

Okay, so what I really, really want to articulate in words, but I cannot (because for some reason I am suddenly out of words) is that whatever I say in this blog post is not even half of what I really want to say. 

OKAY, now that came out in a really confused manner, but whatever.

Ramyaaaaa!!!

 (And I know half of my readers will probably be like, 

"Ramya? The famous singer who released a music video across the nation? Oh my god, lucky you! I'm a big fan!" 

BUT don't worry I won't tell them where you live. I won't give them your phone number. Or your autograph. Heck, I won't even let them TRY to see you. I don't want you to feel AWKWARD about it. )

So where was I? Yeah, Ramya, I remember exactly where I met you. At the foyer in Prince George's Park Residence on this slightly sunny afternoon at the begin of Semester One. 

AND I thought you were the most peaceful, saintly thing on this planet. Boy was I wrong. 

By the next time I met you (and you had cracked quite a few gross, incomprehensible jokes by then. Mind you, I was innocent those days) my brain was finding it hard to digest how INSANE you were. 

AND I remember Srishti (hereby known as The Horse) telling me how scared she was that we may end up not liking each other. OH, SHE HAD NO IDEA. I think we sidestepped liking each other. Because from that very moment when you woke up in the middle of the night (at 3AM remember?) just to talk to the poor blundering fool (that was me) I JUST KNEW IT. Let me put it in a very CHEESY way : I just knew that we were meant to be :'). 

And how do I put all the time we spent together in words? Let's see. By the end of the first month in NUS, we had successfully managed to inject enough insanity into each others' minds. But that's what friends do don't they? Driving each other nuts and all?

There was all that ridiculous amount of shopping (let's not forget the amazing bargain you got me by just being famous). Then all the dressing up before occasions and when I say occasions.... *cough*. 

All the crazy photos and the videos and the rolling about on the ground during those sleepovers. With your thermal blanket and my comforter. (Damn, I miss sleepovers. I wish I didn't have so much work this year, we should have those more often AGAIN.) Except we did have one after watching Insidious and I slept like a log while you and The Horse were going hyper. 

All the time we spent being hopelessly romantic while you were like too cool and all. All the time we both stumbled and you were there to lift us. All those lengthy discourses about life and love and hope and happiness. If there is one person I can credit for teaching me to be happy, it is you and you know why. 

All those horror movies and romcoms and old Hindi films that we watched together. Every time we both felt insecure and unhappy, I don't remember a single time when we haven't rushed to each other to clear it out. Anytime. Even if that means leaving your bed in the middle of the night. AND I would still do that for you, over and over again, until the end of time.

AND I almost have tears of happiness in my eyes now and I'm going all 'awwww' in my head now because I just realized how precious you are to me. And I think I should send you a message right now saying "I Love You :')". 

AND....you just replied.

"Love you tooo bitch". 

Who needs a better half when you have a friend you can go up to and say this to anytime?

Remember, the bucket list you made? The "before you turn 20" one? I know everything there hasn't been completed. But really Ramya, you don't need it to be completed at all. You don't need a tattoo or hair dye or anything else to make your years before 20 special. You have us :) And we have you. And whatever you do or say, nothing and no one can replace you in my life.

There is one other thing I remember that cannot be forgotten. The time when we both lost someone who was close to us. Loss is a painful emotion. But there you were and once I spoke to you, loss became a different feeling. Speaking to you about something, anything gives me so much hope. You fill me with so much of positivism. I don't think there is anyone, ANYONE in this world I can speak to about these things apart from you.  

Before I end this blog post I want to tell you about ALLLLLL those things I love about you. 

I love your AWKWARDNESS. Because let's face it, it is unique. I don't have anyone else who goes awkward when faced with a totally non-awkward scenario. 

I love the way you SMILE when you speak about something sweet that happened ( in reality or in dreams eh both) and that makes me double triple multiple times more happy than you are. I mean, you have no idea how contagious your happiness is.

I love your jokes. :P Sorry, but you are kind of a joke yourself sometimes and I can't help it if I don't know someone else who is a walking-talking joke by themselves.

I LOVE how you can make me laugh. I mean look at those noises you make sometimes. And seriously, "glam" stuff aside, I don't know anyone else you grunts when they laugh. And then you trigger my hiccups. Let's not even go there. 

Dude, you should like change bodies with some one,  some day and just watch yourself. You're a masterpiece. 

Okay, I really can't go on and on about this 'what-I-love-about-you' thing. It will never end!

Okay, but really Ramya, the whole point of this blog post was to shout out a big 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!

to my favorite cow/buffalo/sea cucumber friend. Bitch, you are PROBABLY wondering why I am spilling all the love only before your birthday (You JUST pointed that out on chat, wow, you read my mind o.o). 

But on birthdays you realize one thing. That if this person were not in your life, there would be a big void and so many moments would be meaningless. 

IF this semester was not draining the life out of me, I would write a blog post for you every single day and I know you would read everything I write. But despite all that, you know better than anyone that I am only a call away from you.  It's one thing about spending time away in work and studies, but it's one thing about coming home to someone who loves you. I know you'll always be there for me.  

I love you to bits. :*

Stay beautiful, stay happy, and most of all stay just the way you are.

And yes what you see below, is wholly intentional. 

                                     

Lots and lots of love <3

Being Nothing

I can't begin to describe the state of mind I have been in, for the past one month. It is almost like the usual feelings of joy and grief have slipped out of my brain's chambers. Not sad, not happy.

There was a time once when I was simply devoted to being as happy as I could be. I trained myself to accept Life as it came. In packages of sublime happiness. In vessels of knotted misery. In excitement and in pain, in solace and in fear. There was a time when nothing really mattered but having so much fun that I wouldn't have to regret a single moment.

When I stepped into college, this semester, I was beyond just happy. I was enthralled, curious and most of all, undeniably spontaneous in every possible manner. It's as if I was waiting for something that was heading my way at the speed of light. I don't know what kind of castle I was building in the air, what kind of expectation I was painting for myself. But I think whatever it was, has either eluded me cunningly or simply sidestepped and raced ahead while I was busy searching for it. Or maybe, it was never there to begin with.

In what seemed like a torrent of flashbacks, I espied that one time when I had felt genuinely about anything in Life at all.Love, pity, any emotion. I recalled the time when I helped my mother sit up in bed, while she struggled, a cloudy illness grasping her. I recalled the time when I fiercely stood up for my sister when any other kid tried to bully her. I recalled the time when I missed my best friends so much after moving away from town. I recalled the very first time when I thought of someone I loved and smiled shamelessly.

And now all of a sudden, it seems like all that is gone. Gone with the effortless, gusty and strong wind. This wind which is nameless, faceless and fearless. I try to remember exactly when I stopped reacting to anything that happened around me and I really can't remember when. I feel NOTHING but a clammy mist of emptiness that has no meaning. There are people around me, people whom I love to death and people whom I would do anything for. And yet, there is nothing but a huge void within me.

I finally know what it is to be able to meet people yet feel lonely. To want to laugh but not be able to. To want to cry but not be able to. I've become a stranger to myself and to everyone else around me. It would make sense if I was depressed or simply a manic, but the truth is my mind is a blank slate. There is a pent up bucket of love and tenderness that I want to distribute, but I am not able to.

But maybe sometimes it is just not enough to share all the love and care. Sometimes you need to take from others. Now I really know what people meant when they told me, "...you need to be taken care of."
Because sometimes all you really want to hear is a "It's OK, I'm there with you."

But the world doesn't work that way. People throw stones at you. They whip the happiness out of you. They carve you into a cold statue not worth it's space on the planet. Is that why people commit suicide? Is it because they don't know themselves anymore?

It's a fearful thought. But then why again would people be afraid to die ? They make their own choices. Death isn't an enemy, it's an old Friend you met in your previous life and met again in all the million lives you have lived in this Universe.

I spend every night drawing lines of destiny for myself. None of them seem to be heading the right way. None of them seem to be heading any way at all. What if I were some place far far away from here? What if I were still a child? What if I had never met these people around me? What if? What if!

In my distant mind palace, I have devised methods to run away from this morose emotionless state of mind by simply being a pathetic coward. But in another zone, my brain has come up with a default mechanism to lie on the cold hard ground and contemplate about everything twice and thrice and until I scream myself to sleep.

Maybe, just maybe, this isn't going right. I want to be able to stop this nothingness by filling my days up with warmth and sunshine. But that's like in the fairy tales and although I dreamed of being a princess when I was a child, those dreams have locked themselves up in a secure chest. Reality tossed the chest into the sea when I grew up.

I want to be able to know that I am fine. But it's so difficult. I keep my schedule occupied and intact. So that I have to never THINK again, but thoughts are thoughts and they keep crawling back. And while friends keep repeating the same mantra again and again ("Go out, have fun, watch movies, fall in love again"), it's a nightmare trying to implement them.

The light is visible at the end of the tunnel. But the journey is so empty, so lifeless. If only I knew the remedy.
Life would be a huge cheery slice of pie and any problem would be a piece of cake.


 

A Thousand Leagues Under The Sea

I'd like to spend,
a million years wondering,
silently pondering, this little
thing.
This absolutely nothing,
this meaningless vision,
this paper palace that
You call.
That you call Us.


I'd count a few,
a few countless stars
In the heaven up there
Figuring.
Calculating the geometry
of constellations
Spelling your name out
in pieces of two or three
There's so much,
so much sparkle.


I'd watch those ship lights
As they go down
Drowning like my,
Like my thoughts.
And hopefully by the time
We are dead and gone,
At least a few ship lights
Will remind them of us.
A few but
Not too many.

I'd watch the smoke rise
Out from filthy
cigarettes that floated
In unruly suburbs.
I hated them,
But I'd still watch the
Twirling rings of smoke
Just because.
They were illusions
Of suffering lives.


I'd gaze at the glitter,
The bazaars down south
Near the sea,
Because the sea
Always called.
It always called survivors
And the waves lapped
and I loved it just the same.
Because I loved it
A bit more that always.

And I dived carelessly
A thousand leagues
Under blue, oh blue water
I found.
I found peace
A dormant piece of
Unlikely hope in the blue.
So radiant, a little flicker,
Some what a bit,
some what like you.


While I stitched words
Together, words of.
Of stringent happiness
So beautiful,
Like bubbles of painless suffering.
I clung to the curtains,
Of this story you called Us.
But I loved it just the same.
Just, pretty much, the same.

Rainy Fridays :)

The sweetest realizations in Life happen when you're out in the rain. 

           

When those gleaming drops of heavenly water land on your face as you look upward to the clouds. When the sound of water, soothing as it is, creates a harmony that links strangers together. When it's simply all about running in the rain, singing aloud all the rain songs you can remember, mumbling through half of them because you obviously forgot the lyrics. But, singing anyways. Cold, stinging rain that some how manages to warm the chambers of your heart. And you have no idea how or why. 

Yesterday, was my favorite Rainy Friday. The week had been hectic, the work had piled up on my desk pretty much like a skyscraper of lecture notes that I wanted to avoid so desperately. Since the last few days, I haven't been very interested in anything at all. I don't feel like going out and playing some sport, or indulging myself in good food or for that matter, even going to a party. Life has slowed down from a fast-paced hip hop extravaganza to a nerdy anthem of sorts. And trust me, none of them really help at a time like this. I'm not depressed or happy or anything at all. I've reached a feeling of neutral boredom where I submerge myself in whatever the hell makes me feel good. 

So I actually kept everything aside for an hour, dropped by at my friend's place and then after a short interval (where we debated about where to keep our electronic gadgets) we made the most awesome decision of the day. We abandoned all the work and all the stress and more noticeably, all our other friends (hehehe that was uncalled for) to step out into the rain. The biting cold rain which could easily give all of us the 'fever'. But who cares about all that anyways. 

What really mattered is walking down the rain washed roads in hostel backyards and singing songs. What really mattered is building castles in the air, imagining the possibilities that could be and could not be. And talking about antique bookstores and french cafes and a little bit of movie romance. Discovering that our lives were so intertwined, and re-discovering that if only these lives had intersected some time before we would have had so much time together. 

Perhaps the most awe-inspiring part of this little stress-buster, was plotting story lines. My story, your story. Where will we be in ten years? Somewhere down there I feel extremely happy that I managed to bring out the hopeless romantic in my friend. Everyone has that side, few show it and few don't. But no one can deny that illustrating a little imaginative Flynn Rider or Mr. Darcy or <insert favorite person> can do wonders to matters of the heart. 

No, this shower was chilly, the cold crept into my veins and almost shattered the warmth I had managed to generate by hugging myself. This was not the filmy Indian monsoon where you can hold an umbrella and prance along in the flooded streets. This was different. But refreshing on so many levels. I realized that sometimes you just ought to let go. And sometimes even if you feel out of place, you will know that on the other side of the fence lies a world of people who feel the same way as you do. The people who love you are those who listen to you and stay up all night just to make sure you don't go to sleep with a frown. And sometimes, being different is being happy.

The rain stopped soon. The cup of hot coffee never really happened, because I was just too tired to move. And despite a million deadlines racing ahead, the next morning when the sunlight flooded into my room, I woke up with a rainbow in my heart. :)

Hey, What A Beautiful Mess This Is.

It's like picking up trash in dresses. 

On a day like this, with a light patter of rain shooting onto my window pane, I can't do more than listen to music and write and think about all the beautiful things in life I should be thankful for.

It often happens that you hear a song, and you instantly fall in love with it. And you listen to it on repeat, in your room, while reading, in the shower, in the cafe, inside the lecture hall, outside the Interview Room, and possibly in all those extra normal places where usually nothing ever happens. I don't think that this is the right method to approach a favorite song (you kind of get bored of it too soon) but then again there are songs which never burn out. 

I heard 'Beautiful Mess' by Jason Mraz after almost a year, and I fell in love with it all over again. People like music because of various reasons; some people judge an artist by the genre of music, some like the beats, some like the choice of instrument and some like the innovative lyrics. I've loved reading lyrical ballads ever since I was a child, and it is no wonder that I judge a song by the pattern of words which knit it together - the lyrics. 

                                       

 

So for a change, I decided to interpret 'Beautiful Mess' in my own words, yes pretty much like a song review. But I plan to do so against all the other interpretations that the Internet has come up about it, because strangely enough I found my own meaning to it. And I choose to do so (despite all the other lovely songs on the planet) because I think this song deserves a special mention for the combined lucidity and complexity of it's lyrics. 

 Before going on, I suggest you listen to this song, if you haven't heard it already.

Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz

Most people think this song is about a traditional long-distance relationship. I beg to differ. Obviously, this song is about a woman, more specifically a lover of the singer's. 

But Mraz talks about a woman who is a blend of black and white. She is a jig-saw puzzle of virtues and vices. The woman is one of her kind, and she has a good way with words. She's a writer, or a poet, or a lyricist. He loves her despite all her flaws and he realizes that the fact that they have been together for so long, going through a billion ups and downs, shows how solidified their love is.  

                                                            

There is a small hint of sinful happiness in this song. Mraz believes that the girl brings a beam of joy into his life and she does it in an impeccable style of her own. So cursive, so elegant, joined together in a mix of rights and wrongs. But she is so reckless, she ends up making so many mistakes on the way, and he blames her mood swings for being the source of his happiness! (yeah, I mean how did he just do that?)

The chorus of this song is the best piece of music I have heard in ages.

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write

Kind of turn themselves into knives

And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction

Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear

Cause here we are, here we are

He calls her and this whole situation "a beautiful mess". This is such a lovely contradiction. I haven't heard anything like it. She's such a mess, she's like a tray of unwanted things, yet she is so beautiful unlike anything he has ever seen. When she writes poems/songs/stories about love, her words drive through his heart like blades. They are harsh, they are blatantly rude and she has no concern for his feelings. Although she calls it fiction, he knows they are true and yet he loves to see her contradict him, because these contradictions make her what she is.  : a beautiful mess.

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

The song keeps coming back to 'words' which I again believe are wrenched apart from the manuscript the woman is writing about their relationship. The words they say to each other, the times they spend together. What really separates this relationship from most of the other songs that Mraz has written, is the depth of reality in it. 

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure/But that's no concern when we're wounded together. 

It's so beautiful how he compresses a whole lifetime of truth into these two lines. In a relationship, both man and woman are hurt together. You can only be perfect soul mates if your partner is like your mirror. :) You go through hell, you go through a painful dramatic sequence (yes, like in the movies), you WAIT and finally in the end you come clean and everything is suddenly worth it.

                                       

While I sit with my own collection of words and look out at the lush greens imprinted with rain, I wonder who Mraz's inspiration for 'Beautiful Mess' was. What was she really like? Was she really a woman of contradictions? The whole allure of a man of contradictions is unlike any other. I'd rely on a man who is a patchwork of a million colourful conflicts to be my inspiration. Because how can you not love someone who is so faulty but yet so real? 

I'd listen to this song on repeat for the rest of my life, but never quite figure out how the singer crafted it so well. Maybe it would take a 'beautiful mess' of a person, or a bit of falling in love. Both of which, would be wonderful :)

Bits and Pieces of Music?

This is the randomest thing I have EVER written.

I'm not in a particular mood today to actually sit down and write a long post about the Life and times of a college student. I spent most of last night tossing and turning on my bed, trying to crush a miserable discouragement that had grasped me earlier that evening.

So, I learnt a few lessons in the past five months and this post is a short sharing session.

Then of course, groaning about all the things that went wrong in Life does not lead you anywhere. When stress spills on your head, the best way to clear the mess is to cleanse the mind. If circumstances aren't the way you want them to be, simply step out of the frame and take a deep breath. If people aren't the way you want them to be, gift them a beautiful something and say goodbye.

Sometimes I just want to catch a bus ride to some random place which nobody has heard of and where nobody knows me. Somewhere peaceful and romantic and calm.

So, I have a few songs, a few bits and pieces of happy music which I have been listening to.

That's kind of how I plan to end this post:

1. Cassie - Me and You
2. Lana Del Ray - Blue Jeans
3. Owl City - If My Heart was a House, you'd be Home
4. Jason Mraz - Lucky
5. Savage Garden - I Know I loved You Before I Met You
6. Elton John - Can You Feel The Love Tonight
7. Taylor Swift - Ours

That said, I am going for a walk. :)

The Perks of Being In Second Year

Okay, so this may not normally be what everyone else is thinking. But we all are entitled to our own opinion and I guess it won't take me more than a blog post to express mine. I usually write posts about a particular topic that I am passionate about and if you are really lucky, they actually take just over three minutes to read.

However, TODAY is not about swallowing books, unworldly fanaticism or fictional characters. Today is about reflection, and actually observing the change. It's easy to say that people change as time goes by, I guess that is, in a way, the right assumption.

However, I don't think people really change at all. Circumstances change, situations change. Calamity rolls by and creation blossoms. But people remain who they are, the product of their own mix of ideas and principles. And in some instances, a product of their own fantasies.

It's been a year since I stepped into college, and *<insert the usual melodrama about dreams, aspirations and expectations>*. I met people, made some really good friends, bonded 'big time' with the people who shared the same crazy fancies like I did, and what's more, I enjoyed every second like there is no tomorrow. OK, maybe I enjoyed a bit too much. (Hint: Don't look at my Grade Book)

You know, all those wild eccentric ideas that cook up in your head when you're a freshman? The ultimate independence, the sudden burst of energy and enthusiasm to finally live your life to it's fullest? It all happened to me, and so much more. Trying something new! And discovering newer routes in life. The unprecedented FUN and action with every step. Sleepless nights, the rush of adrenaline, dancing like a carefree kid and of course, the confrontation with exams at the end of the year. It was a heavenly cycle of precious moments.

I'd like to credit Singapore for being one of the most appropriate cities for a well-rounded education. I cannot forget the blend of salty beaches, sweltering heat and posh elegance of this island that actually led me to have more fun than ever. This was primarily one of the reasons why my first year was so splendid.

While freshman year raced along and culminated in a summer paradise in India, I can never really remember much of it. It's all a strange blur of spice, exotic music and colors now. When I try to recall whatever really happened, I visualize some of the priceless 'first time moments' and that's about it. The first night-out, the first cocktail, the first dance, the first time I walked alone, the first exam, the first sleepover, the first song we got hooked on to, the first game of charades, the first birthday, the first concert, the first time I met everyone...all the first times.

And trust me, it is worth all the other lovely moments you will ever have. Because one can share a million memories with their friends, but the best way to kick-start the memories is with the first times. And the more first-times you have, the better it is, because really, it just goes to show how you keep exploring so many new avenues with your loved ones.

It's been 12 months since the start of that exhilarating year and I can say that so much has changed. We are all a family now and we do things we have always done, but in a better way. Second year should be DOUBLE the fun shouldn't it?

 But something has definitely changed in the way I look at things around me. There is no love lost between me and this sweet make-believe home that I have built here. But I guess as years go by, everyone and everything tames down to face the reality. I'm starting to appreciate all my relationships, my hobbies and my 'alone time'. I'm also beginning to solidify those dreams which have been floating in oblivion for far too long. For the first time, I'm choosing what really makes me happy and content.

I just feel that I should invest my time in activities that really matter. I want more first-times in my second year. Those times which I really wish to treasure after about, a fifty years. There's a bucket list waiting somewhere, demanding an immediate entry. That's how many plans I have lined up for myself! At the present moment, like all young people, those dreams and ambitions are bubbling through the surface of my imagination. Maybe, fifty years down the lane, (when I'm a Grandma, oh yeah!) I'll actually look back and laugh at this entire post. Life would hold a different meaning then, because Life is of that nature - ever-changing, ever-evolving.

And perhaps, you, my Reader, will feel the same too. 

A Pair Of Blue Eyes

Note: I'm in this rare romantic mood today and so, despite all the rational forces of nature, I have decided to pen down a poem. The name of which, was inspired from Thomas Hardy's novel of the same name. Hope you enjoy this!


A fine pair of eyes had he;
Cloudy hues of sapphire,
A little miracle of his own.
I spied those ocean eyes,
From the early misty dawn
Till the late setting Twilight.
They were a story unraveling.

Bright blue, dissolving the
Golden rays of sunshine.
The colours were swirling.
Daunting shapes in an orb
Retelling the mysterious past,
Reciting the glorious present.
Withholding the unpredictable.

So beautiful were those eyes,
So gladdening; all perspectives
During the nostalgic afternoons.
Downcast, while his hands played
With queer instruments of music
Those melodic fuming tunes rose
Silently into his serene gaze.

And when the Evenstar shone,
In a magnificent, rich purple sky
Never blinking, always thinking,
Reflected in those glittering eyes,
Crystal-like they looked up to heaven
Resemblance of an Elven spirit
Or a fierce magic from Lost Lands.

A fine pair of eyes had he;
Sentiments floating in the azure
Ungentle teasing when I looked.
Not half as ungentle as his burning
Cold gaze; yet soft and unwavering.
The lips curved into a smile.
I stared at that radiating Ocean...

...And those eyes, they lit up my Life.

The Finer Imagery in Life

A mere sentence with about ten words can either inflict a lot of injury to one's soul or inject them with a lot of happiness. If a statement can create imagery in the minds of readers, it goes without saying that this sentence must comprise a language which is very simple but at the same time very powerful.

Till now, I am content to say I have read less than 1.0% of this world's literature. However, the flow of writing that some of these authors exhibited have left me spellbound. So, I decided to conduct an experiment. I randomly flipped through the pages of some of the most famous novels (that were within half a meter radius, forgive me I am lazy)  and plucked out a statement from there... and now you are about to see how even a random statement written by these wonderful people has so much efficacy.

"The first two dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification."

-Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

"The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming." 

-Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

"Dawn made itself felt in a gathering whiteness eastward and over the river and an intermittent cheeping in the near-by trees." 

-F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Beautiful and Damned)

" Now, is the dramatic moment of fate, Watson, when you hear a step upon the stair which is walking into your life, and you know not whether for good or for ill."

- Arthur Conan Doyle (The Hound of The Baskervilles)

"And far away from the South, beyond the white woods of the birches of Nimbrethil, from the coast of Arvernien and the mouths of Sirion, came rumour of the Havens of the Ships."

- J.R.R. Tolkien  (The Children Of Hurin)

"I dreamed a lot, and most of it I only remember as a hodge podge of images, snippets of visual memory flashing in my head like cards in a Rolodex..."

-Khaled Hosseini ( The Kite Runner )

"You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato."

-Charles Dickens (A Christmas Carol )

And from my absolute favorite children's book:

"They are forbidden by Peter to look in the least like him, and they wear the skins of bears slain by themselves, in which they are so round and furry that when they fall they roll."

-James Matthew Barrie (Peter And Wendy) 

Perhaps the bunch of statements I have just made you put up with make no sense when they stand alone from the actual text. But, what delights me is the sweetness of language and the imagery they form in my head. I think the characteristic of a good author is that even when you do isolate such descriptive lines from their paragraphs, you can still imagine a great deal. That's why the likes of Rowling, Lewis, Stevenson, Dickens (and so on and so forth) make so much sense; that is how they won over Readers.

Westlife once sang,
 "And Words are all I have to take your Heart away." 
I believe.

Goodbye, dear Summer.

Travel, Books and Movies. This is Life. 

Except there is a tiny glitch. They say you never get everything you want at the same time.
But I found a way to make that happen this Summer. This inescapable lovely time of the year when everything is sunny and bright and needless to say...absolutely cheerful.

And that is precisely why, dear Reader, I'd like to bring this season to an equally joyful end with this little post.

1. It started with getting drunk.  

                                                     

                                         

No, not the lying-on-the-floor-puking kind of drunk; I'm talking about the intoxicating Indian-ness. Singapore is really diverse, but I prefer experiencing the culture of one country at a time. There's so much to learn from this colourful, Bollywood-crazy, fast-paced nation. Whether you skim the lush green fields, watch the river twisting it's way to the sea or immerse yourself into the smoky concrete laced with a British touch, Kolkata has an appeal of it's own. There's an enthralling beat to every step you take, there's a blend of pinks, reds and corals in the clothes you wear and last but not least, there's a spice in every meal you take. The music is shimmering, the language is sweet; and despite all this flowery description what I REALLY did is this: I learnt a couple of swear words, some dramatic Bolly dialogues, ate a lot of butter chicken and paneer and inhaled tons of carbon monoxide. Way to go, I say.

2. Then it escalated to singing in the rain.

                                                          

                                       

                                         

Not like literally singing of course. I didn't want to ruin my chances of having immeasurable fun by lying bed-ridden with the flu or pneumonia or the like. BUT what I did was sing all day until lunch. Singing actually elevates your work efficiency. I sang while painting, played a bit of soft rock while reading and of course sang out loud on car rides. How can you really avoid singing when you're sticking your head out of that window, or playing The Beatles when you sit down with a cup of hot coffee near the window. Impossible so far as I know. And also impossibly good.

3. I went to War.

                                                             

Game of Thrones really, really got me going. I mean few books take more than kingdoms and battle to increase the adrenaline rush. This introduced me into a new fandom, and I cannot be more thankful. It also got me interested in Monarchy, a system of government I always thought more fascinating than a Republic. Kings, queens and knights. Oh, the wonder. IF ONLY I could wear chain mail and run into battle. It took me a while to wonder which House I really fancied but I think I made my decision fast enough. Lannisters everyone. Followed by Targaryens. That pretty much sums up everything. And yes you can hate me if you want to. 

4.  I came back to Earth with a thud.

                                                           

 I crash-landed on Europe, diving right into Dan Brown's bio-terrorism wrought thriller Inferno. It got me thinking and I transcended from the dreamy world of fighting on battleground to actually facing current world problems. This is not a problem which can be solved single-handedly by an intellectual. Rather, it's a maze which only has a visible exit for a team player. We need to rise above the petty issues of selfishness to combat real-world problems. There are terrors which are huge in magnitude and can bring down mountains to dust. For the love of God, this book opened eyes. 

5. And then there was this affair with the memory of Clark Gable.

                                                 

I am not really a movie person. I could do with a few classics now and then, but I'm not a regular and I will never be. But this actor just raised the bar so high for other men, I'm finding it hard to digest the fact that I will find my special someone after all. It's not about the looks, (in which case I would have chosen a certain Mr. Pitt) but I guess it is the acting which matters. Flawless acting, flowing like watery silk in between your fingers. Although Casablanca's Humphrey Bogart made romantic drama seem effortless, I still feel Gable (with his Bugs Bunny iconic act) tops my list of favorites. And he sure as hell deserves it. 

6. Finally culminated in falling in Love.

                                                              

No matter how hard I try to consider stoicism (it's good for health, you know) I almost always end up melting after a touching tale. With my annual pilgrimage to the doctor done, (all organs intact) I was led to believe that I had toughened up after all. But I had no idea what was in store for me until I watched Sherlock. That brought the roof down. While I dashed through this nerve-wracking, mind-boggling mystery of a roller coaster, I realized something. The steel resolve I had formed of not watching mystery fiction or crime drama had gradually melted away. Thanks to fabulous acting and of course, extraordinary plots. And well, who can forget, Benedict Cumberbatch. I swear it should be  illegal for someone to be this good-looking.  

And now finally as I embrace The Hunger Games, I realize that nothing can be this exhilarating. Waiting for your favorite movies, books, episodes. Travelling from Venice to Istanbul to Paris to New York and then London. What really matters is being everywhere in spirit. This summer is marching to a wonderful end. 

While many people aspire to create an eternal happiness, I choose to find happiness in little things. 

This by itself, is enough motivation for me to go on. 

Will he? Won't he?

Why I will never get over my Childhood Crushes. Note: This is a result of complete boredom. 

There's a reason why that tiny moment of infatuation is not termed as love. Whether the crush was on a person or an activity. And there's a bloody good reason why this post is not one of those soppy memoirs of kiddy crushes. The loves of my life ( as a 12 year old ) don't matter anymore, but the consequences lie heavy on the mind. And here I am, trying to recreate a little bit of those days when everything was a lot easier.

There are a hundred billion reasons why I won't get over my childhood, and all the mistakes I made and all those stupid crushes. But let me spare the boring introduction.

1. My first crush was on books. This is probably the only crush that evolved into love. Nothing else really mattered. Waiting like a restless moron outside Popular/Crossword for the release of Harry Potter, drowning into those fragrant pages,  behaving like a lunatic after reading it etc. People are blind when it comes to love BUT I think my eyesight improves drastically while reading. I seem to notice stuff hidden between the lines, swallow fiction like food, and that means a lot because I really love food.

I cemented my relationship with books after a while; I got to build a small home library. So far, so good. This marriage is one which won't end in divorce.

2. The second and most wavering crush was on a person. And till date this is the most incredulous piece of fact in my life. It probably never went beyond a "Hi" and a "Bye" but till the time I left school, it had evolved into a "Will he? Won't he?" scenario. People say that kids fall for looks. I think that's wrong. As a kid, the sheer innocence of the mind falls for character. He was so intriguing and well so amusing. He was a world of his own and I loved that. I hardly ever spoke to him, but when I did it was a magical kind of FUN. And this is probably the ONLY guy who will never know how much I liked him. And perhaps the only person who would never read beyond a line or two of this post; he always had better things to do.

3.  The last and most unexplained crush was on anime. I spent a good amount of time fixing beyblades. There was this phase of life when cracking open the weight disk of a beyblade and screwing together the parts ignited a delight unlike any other. We switched and exchanged beyblades, we had tournaments and I even succeeded on getting one of them to catch fire. The consequent result was love for Japanese culture and language. Soon enough, I was infected by the 'cute' craze and everything from my best friends to my bed sheet had something cute about them. I never got over this one really. And if you presented a kimono to me (bonus: with flowers) I'd probably keep that in a safe. My most prized possessions.


So the undeniable result of this post is nostalgia. God knows I should have stopped time in my childhood. But the unfair fact of life is that nothing ever stops for us. Although slipping into the delusions and fantasies of childhood can give me a momentary peace, there's nothing less permanent than change. I'll never get over some phases of my life, but then again who really does?

Now you Hate him, now you don't. ;)

The Absolute Anti Hero

I want to be completely honest about this post. How did I actually get to this topic anyways?

The first, and most obvious, thing I did is this. I used the unflattering search engine called Google. (No, I don't mean to be rude, but Google does give brutally honest answers at times.)

And I had before me a list of some of the most fascinating people who have shamelessly managed to puzzle us every time. Most of us will stand by the fact that as far as heroes and villains are concerned, most movies are categorized like this:

1. There's a hero who shows off, there's a villain who gets kicked real bad.
2. The opposite happens i.e the villain stamps on the skull of a dying emotional (patriotic?) hero.
3. No hero, no villain. Everybody is a winner!
4. A Doomsday-type of film, where everyone ends up -well-doomed.

Yeah A Justin Bieber Type Apocalypse, it's plausible

But we forget, that in this constantly developing branch of entertainment, there are characters who step into the shoes of the hero, but never really live up to the characteristics of a true hero. They are the ANTI HEROES. Neither are they agreeable, honest, brave, courteous and kind nor are they patriotic, handsome, virtuous, idealistic or noble. In fact, they are absolutely the opposite and yet they stand out, because even if we don't acknowledge it, we all love a share of someone who is grounded in reality. Who has flaws, and problems and is yet triumphant.

Whether he is a supporting act, or a protagonist, he is still a hero. So let's have a look at his illustrious history.

Shakespeare's Anti Heroes

Whether Shakespeare actually ever wrote about anti-heroes is a debatable topic. Most men often consider his characters to be classical tragic heroes. However, I think there is a difference between them. Shakespeare's anti-hero acts out of his own will and (more often than not) brings about his own downfall. But his tragic hero is a target of worldly (or unworldly) circumstances and usually dies anyways. 

Macbeth for instance is awfully greedy, power-hungry and -let's face it- easily manipulated. The root of the anti-hero's vices is his own feverish brain. So when Macbeth, knee deep in guilt and gore, says :

The Famous Banquet Scene

"I am in blood 

Stepp'd so far, that should I wade no more, 

Returning were as tedious as go o'er."

He is pretty convinced of his own wrong-doings. He fights with his evil genius for a while, but he cannot stop the villain in his mind from taking control. But what makes Macbeth a hero too, is his unstoppable courage and resolve. He goes into battle nevertheless and dies by a sword; remarkably a hero's death. Thus he is, the quintessential anti hero. 

However, I would not classify Hamlet as an anti-hero despite his faults in behavior. The surrounding environment and his insecurity are what actually drive him to do what he did. Unlike Macbeth, he stayed true to himself till the end. He wore a mask of madness, but deep within he was perfectly in his senses.

Literature's Minion - The Coming of The Byronic Hero

I haven't read John Milton's Paradise Lost, but hey, even a baby knows about God and The Devil. While Lucifer (better known as Satan) is 'heralded' as a fallen angel, few know that he is also the world's oldest anti hero. And Milton's voluminous book makes sure Lucifer finds his own place in the underworld too. After all, a hero always finds his place.

Fallen Angel?

The name Byronic Hero originated from Lord Byron's literary work, which gave us a passionate yet ill-tempered short cut to an anti hero. Authors went on to write about Byronic heroes too.

Charlotte Bronte got the world thinking (and women sighing) after her depiction of Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre. A man, torn in frustration over the fate of his mad wife, his own love affair and his near-fatal accident, are what makes this anti hero tragically perfect. Bronte's own sister, Emily was not further behind in her portrayal of Heathcliff, perhaps one of the most destructive and dangerous literary creations till date.

It's quite a pity that Twilight took a reference from Wuthering Heights. While Stephanie Meyer struggles to make an anti hero out of Edward, the latter has already succeeded in becoming the world's most bold and extraordinary novel AND I cannot name a book which portrays an anti hero better.

Mystery fiction lovers will definitely agree that Sherlock Holmes is another category of anti hero by himself. He is definitely the most profound, yet brilliant (bordering on sardonic) anti hero the world has ever known. I'm a self-confessed non-follower of Sherlock (yes, I know all you Sherlock fans, I will pay for this) but this is one man who certainly gives me the goosebumps.

I would also categorize Boromir (of the Lord of The Rings trilogy) and The Lannisters (A Song Of Ice and Fire) as anti heroes. And by now, you know why.

The Lannisters Send Their Regards?

                                             

The First Love of our Childhood - Comic Books, Animated Movies and Anime

How unfair would it be to miss out on the mysteriously superb Batman! For everyone out there who has skipped the 'I-wanna-be-a-superhero' stage of life, you missed out on A LOT. Most superheroes are the stereotypical winners. But some of them come with a blend of tragedy. 

Let's take for instance the ferocious yet 'well-meaning' Wolverine. A slightly more debatable option is the Black Widow.  One of my favorites is The Hulk! How can you not admire this huge green giant who is also largely kind-hearted. Among the X-Men comics, I'd vote for Magneto (despite all) as an anti hero too. 

Wolverine and The Hulk

                                         

I won't delve into the details of Animated Movies. But to name a few of the anti heroes that Disney has come up with -I know it's still a big injustice to this category -but here we go. The best known is The (soft-hearted) Beast, followed by an admirable Timon, Peter Pan's Tinker Bell, a charismatic Flynn Rider and - wait for it - the one and only Donald Duck.  

Don't you antagonize me!

                                                       

Anime is not a topic I would like to discuss here, as most of the work in this category is unknown to a major audience (including myself). But there is one anti hero I cannot miss, and partly because I must be the only female (that I know of) who enjoyed watching this show. Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z never fails to amaze me. He's the only brilliant candidate I could think of. 

The Anti Hero on The Silver Screen (And well the TV too)

Movies have given us some of the most intelligent (and comical) anti heroes till date. In fact, it very much started off with adaptations of classical novels. But now it has evolved into a list of splendid characters, some of which I am still unaware of, YET. 

Fight Club's Tyler Durden to begin with. How can we forget Oskar Schindler? And let's not overlook the famous Severus Snape from Harry Potter. Or the ambitious Zuckerberg from The Social Network. 

OR the dashing Jay Gatsby from Fitzgerald's book on New York's flashy society. All this to name a few. (I can't keep going on, this could fill books!)

The traditional definition of an anti hero got a twist with the introduction of Jack Sparrow. We all know him, we all love him unconditionally. We all will walk the plank for Johnny Depp's adorably crazy pirate. He is a generation apart from every other anti hero we know, because he does all the right things in the wrong way. But the man's got his heart in place (well, not in a jar at least, phew to that). 

Saavy? 

                                                    

Another memorable character is Ellen Page's Juno, who despite being an indifferent teenager, is an absolute sweetheart. Modern anti hero qualities flood through this coming-of-age film, where Juno deals with an incorrigible mistake - pregnancy. And lets not forget her love for gross horror films. But she wins your heart anyways.

It would be wrong to conclude this list without mentioning our TV anti heroes. From a chilling Dexter Morgan to the hilariously AWESOME Barney Stinson, the sitcoms have never been far from entertaining us with these contemporary anti heroes. 

That pretty much summarizes my take on the Anti Hero. What began as a steady development of idealistic perfect heroes soon grew into a bunch of characters who are SO WRONG in half the things they do. But nowadays, the reason why film-makers, authors and playwrights harvest anti heroes is because we, as spectators, have grown tired of watching the 'good' men. Success does not only come to virtuous people. It comes to real people and real people have deficiencies. As do our anti heroes. 

To conclude, we all know how much we love the badass. I mean, he never fails to steal the show does he? ;)