Growing Up

And for a change, not feeling that bad about it. 

I've taken, what could possibly be the longest break in my blogging career till date - and this is a testament to the fact that I am actually working for a change, instead of drifting in my thoughts. But you have no idea how much that disappoints me as I'd love nothing better than to actually drift in thoughts - if possible, drown in them.

Speaking of thoughts, I have had some approach me recently, and this time, they aren't exactly pretty. No, before you think I'm moving over to the dark side, I'm not cooking up plans to murder people. I've just had some really intense realizations about growing up, and anyone who has grown up will know they aren't the best of all thoughts. 

I'm distracted yet oddly focused, I'm thinking all the time about the never ending list of tasks I have to complete and yet I am idle enough to binge watch a TV series without a pause. I'm confident about what I should do, and yet I am extremely confused about life. I'm happy about being in this place, at this point of time in life, and yet I am miserable about all the things I do not have.

Maybe this is just all about being human - and maybe I'm beginning to feel it all now, because when you take the time out to actually FEEL everything that happens around you, the good and the bad aspect of it, you start to live instead of normally, just existing. And that means having to feel the excitement of sitting on a roller-coaster with your friends (which I am VERY scared of by the way), or the fear when you find a snake in your bathroom (which really made my Halloween, thank you Snake), or the dreadfulness of spending night after night working on submissions and reports, till the point when you're exhausted and ready to drop dead. 

I love to feel every moment, and one of the most interesting goals I have for this lifetime include having to feel every bit of this amazing spectrum of emotions given to us. Happiness, misery, attraction, fear, jealousy, pride, fury, love, everything, everything. This reminds me of a beautiful quote from the movie Her, 

"Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."

I don't think it's possible for us to feel everything, but even the pain and the joy associated with the simple memories of life are something I wish I could treasure. If I had the time, I could document every minute of my life into a film so that I could watch it one last time before I die, and take every special moment with me to the afterlife. 

I could say I'm all alone in this journey, and maybe I really am. This is the point when you realize what growing up might actually feel like, and it's a very lonely feeling. You're in this world where you have many friends, but actually none at all. You feel like you have everyone, just a phone call away, but that was the beginning of college. Now, even trying to pick up the phone to call someone makes you realize how far away the person is, not just physically but emotionally. It's not the same anymore, but it was never meant to be I guess :)

My favorite children's story/play is Peter Pan, and trust me, nobody hates growing up more than I do - but the interesting part about growing up is, even the part of you that unreasonably hates what cannot be changed, starts to accept these truths for what they are. Go ahead, deny it. But that doesn't change anything. 

   

But not everything turns around. Over time, your best friends still remain those books which are tucked away in shelves, collecting dust. But isn't that the beauty of books? No one has spoken to me the way Hardy and Bronte and Austen have. And I'm glad it has been that way, because those who are dead may never die. After all, you can never lose someone you never had. These men and women have spoken to me about the Past and about times I wish I could have seen with my own eyes. About places I wish I could have visited, and people I wish I could have known. 

And that's not all. Even the feeling of looking down at a city from an elevation, and basking in the colours of sunsets, looking at the circle of life turning away, ever so slowly; that is a beautiful feeling. Spying a butterfly on the green, a flower in the meadow, a cloud with a silver lining or a ship at the horizon. All these feelings which can never disappoint you, no matter how many people you've lost or gained to reach there. 

Every single one of these feelings will pile one on top of the other, like feathers, for years and years. 
And sometimes when I think of my grandfather, and picture him gazing out into the distance, I remember how it always captivated me - for someone who has lived for so long, what do they really think about? Battles and wars of the past? The first time they fell in love? The assignment they failed in college? Or do all those moments mean nothing to them, because for the love of God, they cannot even remember those memories, when all that came after was worth so much more?

I'm beginning to realize that the more I grow older (and I know I sound like a Grandmother here but), everything around me starts to make less sense. Having to dress up and look pretty, having to put that extra punctuation mark, or even having to put the right topping on the right food is actually more about my control freakishness and less about my motivation to actually do what I must. And for the things I really care about, I feel happy when I accomplish them, and if I cannot, I simply feel sad and let it go. It has become really simple. The worry, the pain, the sensitivity that always accompanied failure does not bother me anymore. The angst of young adult life, seems to have ebbed away. 

I have finally learnt to let it all go. And I think that is the most important part of growing up; imbibing everything that matters and letting them go when they must. For some people, this probably comes naturally but for me, and for someone who loves to hold on because they fear loss, this is the most difficult step to take. But I'm glad we've all made it this far :)

I don't want to end this post on a depressing note. After all, growing up need not be necessarily sad - you can still hold on to everything you've loved as child. Stories, poetry, art, history, science, every single bit of whatever you fell in love with and whatever changed you. In fact, I've been exploring a bunch of classics I read as a child, and I'm re-reading Anne of Green Gables just because. 

This transition is unlike any other, but it's not as hard as most people make it out to be. It's actually quite smooth because unlike your teenage years, you understand the value of acceptance or rather the necessity of it. And once you've realized this, you may think of your parents and finally appreciate their sentiments because now you almost feel like you can relate to them. Growing up is a pain, but it has an aesthetic touch to it, which is ironically almost nostalgic. And that's about it. 

Till the next post, then. :)

  

The Storm

"Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then." - Memory, Elaine Page

Everyone associates storms with fear. Not the stale, creeping fear which haunts you, but the vivid startling threat that can bring you back from the dead. And aren't we all at a stage in life when everything inside of our pretty brains is in a disarray? It seems like we are playing host to a great blizzard. 

But even tempests can hold beautiful secrets.

Lightning courtesy jakethesnake999 (Deviantart)

                           

I spent last night staring at the ceiling, at the darkness which rose like an angel into the sky. And while I lay silently, I played with my hair, in an unconscious effort to release the thoughts inside my head into the air right above me. It was a cold night. But cold, in a very reassuring way - I was very glad I had finally escaped the heat. My phone lit up, as I regulated the gentle volume of Memory and hoped that one day I'd be able to see it performed live, in front of me. Music, theater and dance - they are all the same, they make you feel emotions you never knew existed inside of your soul.

"The streetlamp dies, another night is over."

A flash of lightning interrupted my thoughts. I gazed out the window, and through the pink glazed curtains, I saw the the forking lines of electric blue, glistening silver, with the brilliance of platinum crawling into the sky. The rumbling of the Gods crept in. And for a minute, the fear in me sighed. How beautiful! The clouds were accumulating, covering every patch of empty sky, except one tiny spot from where the moonshine tenderly flowed in. It was a heavenly view, to watch the mighty invincible Nature perform such a dramatic play.

Another flash. This time, it was more tremendous, with the grandeur of a gunshot in battle. It lit up my room, making the pale green wall-paint glitter in the darkness. The crystals on the chandelier reflected the temper of the storm, jingling slightly, quivering like feathers in the wind.

Thunder inspires my imagination in so many ways. I always imagined Zeus to have sat on a majestic throne atop Mount Olympus, throwing the most ridiculous tantrum over a plate of broccoli. Or Thor, the Norse God swinging the powerful Mjolnir in a drunken craze. But, I believe in that a little less now. Just a little less.

There, in my room, I was surrounded by the warmth of blankets and love and many more such valuable gifts. And to me the storm was an impeccable decoration of nature. But to someone who lives beneath the bare sky, this very decoration was a terror of gigantic proportions. Almost comparable to the wrath of every Titan combined.

Sometimes I wonder, is it really all just the perspective? How can something so frightening be also admired? Are we like that too? We are all viewed so differently by every single person out there. How will we ever know which perspective is the perfect version of ourselves, the version we envision to be the best?

"And what of it?", you may say. What if I am the Storm?

I'm beautiful yet awe-inspiring. I'm loving and caring yet frightening and adamant. I'm patient and stubborn, I'm everything I can possibly be in this form. I'm the glass-shattering fury of a million gods, and I am yet a thousand shining patterns in the sky.

"I must wait for the sunrise. I must think of a new life."

The Storm is essentially just a passing phase, and yet it is very beautiful. It inspires and perseveres and rages and kills, and at the end of it, people are infused with a fighting spirit. A desire to brave The Storm, to live on and on and fight more and more. A desire to save their loved ones, and a desire to save themselves.

Even though I cover myself in this familial warmth, I feel a shiver down my spine. Nobody is safe from The Storm, but it's how we see it, that will change us and make us who we want to be. This memory is fading, like all memories we make. Everything is in a way, like the Storm.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass. 

The tumultuous voice of the heavens plays in the background accompanied by the fading tones of Memory. And with this thought, I turn over and go to sleep.    

The Sibling Effect

I’d like to begin with a seriously deep quote from a seriously deep poem called “Church Going” by Philip Larkin. In case you have no idea, this verse is about a Church.

“Dispersed, yet tending to this cross of ground
Through suburb scrub because it held unspilt
So long and equably what since is found
Only in separation - marriage, and birth,
And death, and thoughts of these - for which was built
This special shell?”

Church Going is fundamentally a poem which focuses on the crumbling institution of the Church and consequently of morals. A Church has always held ceremonies for Marriage, Baptism and Death. TODAY, marriage no longer holds a strong value or finality and this can be seen in the rapidly increasing divorce rates in the world. Siblings are separated and families are often - putting it in one word - broken.

In such a world, where commitment is becoming a phobia it is essential that fiction reminds us, every now and then about the importance of family. I write this post with the (pure) intention of shoveling up memories from the Past and listing down some of our favorite fictional siblings. Because WHY NOT?

After all,  fiction has more often than once portrayed the best of siblings, and how the very idea of getting along with them is TERRIBLY fun. I say this, as my evil sister throws major shade at me for <insert stupid matter which is not going to be relevant 30 minutes from now>.

But I HAVE to do this, because in the past few days I have started to notice how this is indeed a beautiful (and apparently misused *cough* Game of Thrones *cough*) relationship and also how it is way more powerful than the typical romantic nonsense which movies and cartoons enjoy depicting. In fact, I realized that my childhood has been shaped by a few such really amazing stories about brothers and sisters, and this is a tribute to all of them.

Now, point to note: I’ve decided to divide this into twosections, Books and Movies (no particular order). Of course, some of the books are also now movies, in which case I have simply noted them down under the more memorable category (see: books).

Books

1. The March Sisters - Little Women

I love them and I love Josephine especially. This is a soul-stirring story and the sisters are adorable. They decide to support the family after the US Civil War, and the story shows them dealing with the pain of loss, poverty and more importantly - that of being a woman at a difficult time in American history. Meg, Jo, Amy and especially Beth touched the hearts of millions of readers.

:') 

2. The Pevensies - The Chronicles of Narnia

Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are probably the first thing that comes to your mind when you think fantasy literature. Or rather, the first normal set of siblings. I mean, all they do is walk into a wardrobe, literally discover freaking Narnia, fight in a war and get crowned Kings and Queens of the country. So far as sibling adventures go, I’m sorry this kind of tops it all. Whether it was Edmund’s arrogance, or (later) Susan’s vanity, the Pevensies may be living a fantasy, but they are also the most realistic siblings I have read about.

You know these actors immortalized the Pevensie family. 

3. The Darlings - Peter Pan

Inspired by a real family, Wendy, John and Michael are (apart from being as British as possible) also one of the first siblings I read about. Peter Pan is my favorite children’s book and I cannot think what could be more charming than a bunch of kids flying away to a land where you never, ever grow up. Wendy is the epitome of an elder sister (and weirdly enough, a mother) and she also was the only one who remembered Peter. AND they also had the CUTEST baby sitter - Nana the dog.

Second star to the right, and straight on till Morning!

4. The Weasleys - Harry Potter

All of them. I don’t want to leave a single one of them out because they are obviously the most envied, most famous and most ridiculous set of siblings in existence. Of course, not in “existence” but you get what I mean. Bill and Charlie were cool beyond measure, Percy was an ass, Fred and George were the troublemakers, Ron was the best and Ginny was (albeit suddenly) incredibly awesome. And as you can see, I am avoiding anything that has to do with death and accidents and the like.

Can you really imagine the Weasleys without Molly and Arthur?

5. The Bennets - Pride and Prejudice

As much as I have come to loathe Pride and Prejudice for the apparent romance it depicts, I cannot deny that this story is essentially about the loving friendship between Lizzy and Jane, the elder Bennet sisters. Lydia was a nuisance and the other two aren’t worth mentioning, but don’t we always have some of those weirdos  in our family? Lizzy was intelligent and Jane was kind, and they together managed to steal the hearts of some very, very rich gentlemen. Sibling teamwork sometimes does have wondrous results.

This Jane Austen novel is a lie. Sorry, I can't stop propagating this. 

6. The Famous Five

Do you remember the bunch of cousins that spent summer holidays together and ate sandwiches and owned an island? Yeah, okay this is a bit unfair since George was a cousin and Timmy was a dog, but I’ll have to give it to these five adventurous kids (yeah, you too Timmy). I don’t remember a single vacation I spent without reading about them and incidentally, Off to Kirrin Island was also the first (long story) book I ever read.

I really like Timothy. 

Special Mention: The Lannisters from A Song of Ice and Fire. 

Of course, they did not exactly have the most normal relationship. But growing up in a world like that (covered in riches but nevertheless) really made them - BADASS. One may often feel the incestuous, violent and arrogant traits among the Lannisters put them into the category of villains. But I choose to disagree because even the Lannisters have a cause to fight for. Cersei fights for her children, Jaime for Cersei and his "niece and nephews" and Tyrion fights - well - for himself. The stories at Westeros are more significantly about families, and therefore we do get to witness some really interesting sibling relationships - from the once wonderful Stark kinship to the - erm - complicated Targaryens.

Goofing around. Just because. Note: They don't do this in real life. Wait, what is real life? 

Movies

1. Thor and Loki - Avengers (2012)

Now, I have to say the very fact that they both are played by Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth ups the hot quotient, however there is no denying that they have one of the most entertaining sibling rows in the history of Marvel. They aren’t related by blood, and Norse mythology never considers them to be related at all. But when two “Gods” happen to be siblings, one being the temperamental Thor and another being the mischievous Loki, little remains to be said about that relationship. And the results of it. Also Thor has a hammer, and Loki has a spectre - now replay that inside your head, but with you and your sibling replacing them. You get what I mean.

Fan Art Courtesy heeroguy

2. Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes - Sherlock

Now, I haven’t read the books so I cannot say how chummy these two were in Arthur Conan Doyle’s mystery masterpiece. But what I do know is that Benedict Cumberbatch and Matt Gatiss acted their part splendidly in Sherlock. There’s is a strained relationship, but if either of them decided to shed their cold exterior, we may actually spot some love left.

And, they do play Operation together.

3. Ross and Monica Geller - F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

No other sibling duo has been as loving, caring and equally EVIL and COMPETITIVE as the Gellers. They have the ultimate baseball showdowns and equally unparalleled gestures to get back at each other. Monica and Ross are way different but they get on like a house on fire. They are hilarious in many ways possible, and they also are a fine example of sibling inequality which I want to bring up as serious case of injustice (see: my life). But later, that's for another grievous post.

Well, I kind of chose to forget this dance. But. 

4. The Von Trapp Siblings - Sound of Music

Yes they were evil. Very. And they were too many; I don’t even remember all their names. But they became nicer with the progress of the film, and turned out to be wonderful singers. With an age range as diverse as the Von Trapp siblings, the only other comparison I can think of are the Weasleys but of course, the Von Trapps came first. What makes it even more special, is that they are inspired from a real family. And when I think of them, I think of those legendary classics such as My Favorite Things,  Do Re Mi, The Lonely Goatherd and So Long, Farewell, which always, always brings back a wave of nostalgia.

Most popular picture of the Von Trapps from the Movie. And the gorgeous Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer. 

4. Zack and Cody Martin - The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

Disney Channel inspired the creation of some very chucklesome sibling relationships but this one remains plastered at the back of my mind because Dylan and Cole Sprouse were awfully fun. And this show also redefined "twin" shows (after Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, and that was ages back).

But I DO know which one's which. 

5. Hallie Parker and Annie James - The Parent Trap

This film was such a delight and so was Lindsay Lohan. If you haven’t, I advise you to watch this movie because it is most definitely going to leave you dewy-eyed. Twin sisters reunite and rediscover their past and try to bring their divorced parents back together. It makes for a very lovely watch, seeing as it tries to highlight the difficulty siblings face when their parents do not live together and basically, the unfortunate broken family problem once again.

They aren't mean girls. Take my word for it.

Note: purposely avoided Frozen because it’s super overrated.

That’s probably it. Another category I would like to have explored is Anime, but that can wait for it’s own blog post since it’s quite elaborate. It is an Universe which literally wages WAR for the sake of siblings (*cough* Code Geass *cough*). Moreover, I have observed that the best of Anime have been about family and sibling relationships. From My Neighbour Totoro to Fullmetal Alchemist, almost every adventure has been alongside a faithful companion in the form of a brother or sister.

Being an elder sister, I can say not all sibling relationships are endlessly smooth and - for lack of a better word - traditional. I’m older but I am almost always bullied -.- I’m older but I’m shorter by a head. A full adult human sized head! I’m older but - oh what the hell, I’m just shooting myself in the foot here.

So everyone, try to treasure your brothers and sisters. I know it's hard sometimes when you want to kill them because they broke your toy truck but they are after all, really special. Let’s also felicitate these fictional siblings because they really inspired us to look forward to family gatherings. OR NOT. 

To more and more amazing times ahead! :)

New Blog!

Hi Everyone!

I'm turning a new page in life :) And starting a new blog - from now on, I will be posting more frequently in this new account -  do check it out.

Komorebi - My New Blog!

Why? Well, it has been a beautiful two years writing here, but I am planning to diversify my writings - from thoughts to ideas and reflection and reviews and travel accounts etc. I hope to continue this space too however. 

I've decided to call my new blog Komorebi after the lovely Japanese word. 


                                           


Here's to a happy last year in college, and many more happy times in the future! :)

- Suranjana

An Analysis for the Broken-Hearted

Note: I don't want my blog to turn into an emotional pool of nonsense so let me make this clear. I've recently noticed a lot of people falling in and out of love, and it really tempted me to write this down. For all of you, and myself and many more.

Also, this is highly exaggerated.

Being in love with someone is like being insane. Half the time, you don’t know why you are doing whatever it is you are doing anyway. Your hands are working on their own accord, while your brain (note: screaming)  lists out the irrationality of your actions. But do you care? Absolutely not.

For instance, your idea of the world becomes exactly like Tom Hansen from 500 Days of Summer. Look below, in case you haven’t watched this film, which I actually feel everyone should watch (despite the soppy romance) - it has one of the best dry, sarcastic non-linear narratives I’ve come across with lots of grains of truth.

Let me describe to you the exact process of falling in love. It sucks to be honest, but it’s ALRIGHT to be human - which means it is ALRIGHT to be emotional. So yeah.

First of all - you see them.

And your eyes (which usually would respond to only Benedict Cumberbatch in that manner) actually widen. OH GOD, WHY EYES WHY. I mean deep inside you are really yelling at yourself but no, who listens to relentless logical advice anyway?

Practically, there is almost nothing awesome about them - a normal human being would see the same hair, same smile, same eyes and the exact freaking same nose and still be like “Okay, cool. Nice to meet you.” Whereas, you will be like, “Holy Mother of *replace with appropriate choice of words*”.

Now if that isn't irrational think about this. When they talk, inside of your chest, there rises a balloon of amusement and happiness and captivity and bliss which normally will not happen to just anyone.

Crush says, “And then dogs learnt how to fly! Hahaha!”

Others, “Dude wtf.”

You, “Yes, Hahahahahahaha! So guess what I saw this flying cat back in Oklahoma…”

You get the flow. Remember how Harry Potter felt a lion growling in his stomach when he started to ‘realize’ his feelings for Ginny Weasley? I didn't like that romance anyway, but I'm going to use that lion to refer to your inner, stupid, lovestruck, crazy self which really is on some kind of drug. No doubt.

Okay, then. Then you start getting to know them. You realize they are human and have flaws. You tell your brain, “Bro, this person isn't that perfect. He/she may have some issues. Maybe we should stop?” Brain relays message to heart. Heart says, “To love is to love all of a person - the good and the bad.” And this Biblical message shoots out to every other organ and GUESS WHAT.

Crush - *licks food off a plate* “This is good.”

Others - “Yuck.”

You - “Hahahah so cute.”

OKAY. NO.

Then comes the most annoying phase. The contemplation, the speculation and the whole process of DECISION-MAKING. And God forbid you decide to like your best friend, then you’re kind of trapped. Good luck.

Followed closely by the CHEESY phase. Okay, so most of my close friends hate this the most. But I am kind of a fan of cute rom-coms and sweet songs and poetry - I actually like this. You get back home every day and watch a ton of beautiful videos on YouTube OR maybe you re-watch Definitely Maybe or Friends with Benefits and cry at the fleeting lovely romances in them. You wonder if you’ll have even a fraction of that in your life. That friendship. That love. That everything.

You know the most ridiculous part of this? You KNOW that you pretty obviously don’t feel the flowery cute feeling these movies try to depict - your brain dictates coherence but your heart takes none of that shit. You choose people and there is no such thing as Fate. You weave all that yourself. So if you like someone, it’s your goddamn fault. Don’t blame them for being pretty. Because beauty, is wholly subjective.

Anyway. By now, it is too late. TOO LATE.

Because at this moment you’re like:

                                    

Your organs are really on a roll. Like how many more sleepless nights?

Now usually this phase continues until you meet someone else who sweeps you off your feet. BUT if you have a disgusting habit of ignoring your brain - then you will do what I am about to say next. I'm not saying this is an incorrect way to go about it but:

You’ll tell them.

And of course if by a miraculous coincidence it happens to be mutual - honestly, I wouldn't know. Nobody I liked has ever liked me back. :P At least not immediately. IT IS SO SAD. Yes, everyone cry for me. Cry for yourselves. And since you’re doing it anyway, cry for humanity. And for this loveless, cruel world. Of course you’d still be like -

But actually you are like -

Okay, jokes apart. Moving on.

BUT  honestly, the fear of rejection is not worth it - really, it isn't. I don’t think people fear rejection, they fear loss. They fear oblivion. They fear the unknown. And most of all, they fear themselves.

This should be where your feelings reach a standstill. And you make a decision to move on and engross yourself in hobbies to forget everything. BUT if you are me, you’ll go a step further - you will put your heart on a platter and dissect it. You’ll want to know exactly WHY and HOW you went about this beautiful process - you’ll want to know where you went wrong and where you could have gone right.

It isn't like in the movies. You don’t fall in love at first sight. Blessed are the forgetful. But, can you really forget? 

No. Something, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind proves in 108 minutes.

                                                         

You’ll be confused - do I take this positively? Am I not good enough? Should I look for someone else? Should I fight for this? What should I do anyway?

During this phase, you watch movies and read books and drink all the alcohol you want and smoke all the cigarettes you shouldn't. Essentially, these are just distractions to save yourself from the void of nothingness. But it’’s just your brain coming alive with a self-defence mechanism.

Actually if you really care, you may not even be sad. Yeah? I mean you just got run over, the wound is all fresh and bleeding and you’re like, “Woot, let’s go on like nothing happened!” You WANT to be happy in front of them. You WANT to be happy for them. If they are sad, you’ll have to be ready with an ambulance. And obviously, you haven’t felt this way for anyone else you've liked before, then what-the-hell-is-this?

You’ll really go through a roller coaster ride. You don’t even have to go to Disneyland, I mean what’s the point of going to a theme park when you have constructed one inside yourself? (No offence to Disneyland; and of course I'm going there, but you get what I mean.)

You become some what of a paradox. You don’t want to forget,but you have to. You don’t want to doubt your self-esteem, but you will. You obviously don’t want to give up - but you may have already lost. But you know when this will all be over? When you see them with someone else. Happy, and super content and enjoying life and everything is flowers and bunnies and rainbows and -

AND Finally you will have the shocking enlightenment that IT MAY NOT BE YOU. Maybe the fact that you sleep talk, or scratch your knees too often or sneeze when you see stray animals isn't what repelled them from you. I mean, it’s not like you can look at just anyone around you and fall in love with them! It doesn't work that way.

It’s a chemical reaction and it only has a 0.000001% success rate. So maybe even if you become the most beautiful human being, you won’t be able to make them love you. Because, sometimes it just doesn't work.

Also - you won’t get over them. You can’t stop ‘loving’ someone, you’ll stop thinking of them. You’ll forget them with time. You’ll love someone else more. You’ll find a hobby, you’ll fulfil a dream. You’ll find a thousand more reasons to live.

But when you see them again, you’ll be as happy as you were 12456624 years back because this is love, this isn't a stupid crush. It should bring you happiness, because it’s the feeling which inspires and ignites.

Now as a matter of fact, I don’t think I've been in love so I have no idea if all this will happen. But I hope it will. Because I maintain that we are humans, and our hearts are so unique and unpredictable. Who will we love next? The girl on the subway? The boy next door? The woman dancing waltz? The man smoking a cigar?

Who? Who? Who next?

Will we walk down a path and think of them? Will we hear a song and think of them? Will we watch the roaring sunset across the skyline of a magnificent city and fall in love with them again? Will we? Won’t we?

The future holds too many questions. And we always want answers because we are impatient, restless, emotionally frustrated humans. But we have an enormous ability to love more than we can think. There are gigantic portions of our heart dedicated to loving. And we will do it, even if we don’t get back anything in return. We will love places and thoughts and ideas and most of all, we will love people. Whether we want it or not.

A friend of mine once said, "Unrequited love is beautiful." And they may just be right:) I won’t say much, but falling in ‘love (if that's what it was)’ has always given me such happiness - even if it was unrequited, even if it was useless, even if it lasted for a short while, it meant so much to me. It gave me so much hope and so much joy and it pains me that the person I have written this for will never read this. But it’s okay - I guess not everyone knows the value of the people who love them.

And that, in itself, gives me some confidence to prove them wrong by outdoing myself. Let’s all be better people. Let’s celebrate this positive beautiful feeling because really, there can be no replacement for it.

:)