Will he? Won't he?

Why I will never get over my Childhood Crushes. Note: This is a result of complete boredom. 

There's a reason why that tiny moment of infatuation is not termed as love. Whether the crush was on a person or an activity. And there's a bloody good reason why this post is not one of those soppy memoirs of kiddy crushes. The loves of my life ( as a 12 year old ) don't matter anymore, but the consequences lie heavy on the mind. And here I am, trying to recreate a little bit of those days when everything was a lot easier.

There are a hundred billion reasons why I won't get over my childhood, and all the mistakes I made and all those stupid crushes. But let me spare the boring introduction.

1. My first crush was on books. This is probably the only crush that evolved into love. Nothing else really mattered. Waiting like a restless moron outside Popular/Crossword for the release of Harry Potter, drowning into those fragrant pages,  behaving like a lunatic after reading it etc. People are blind when it comes to love BUT I think my eyesight improves drastically while reading. I seem to notice stuff hidden between the lines, swallow fiction like food, and that means a lot because I really love food.

I cemented my relationship with books after a while; I got to build a small home library. So far, so good. This marriage is one which won't end in divorce.

2. The second and most wavering crush was on a person. And till date this is the most incredulous piece of fact in my life. It probably never went beyond a "Hi" and a "Bye" but till the time I left school, it had evolved into a "Will he? Won't he?" scenario. People say that kids fall for looks. I think that's wrong. As a kid, the sheer innocence of the mind falls for character. He was so intriguing and well so amusing. He was a world of his own and I loved that. I hardly ever spoke to him, but when I did it was a magical kind of FUN. And this is probably the ONLY guy who will never know how much I liked him. And perhaps the only person who would never read beyond a line or two of this post; he always had better things to do.

3.  The last and most unexplained crush was on anime. I spent a good amount of time fixing beyblades. There was this phase of life when cracking open the weight disk of a beyblade and screwing together the parts ignited a delight unlike any other. We switched and exchanged beyblades, we had tournaments and I even succeeded on getting one of them to catch fire. The consequent result was love for Japanese culture and language. Soon enough, I was infected by the 'cute' craze and everything from my best friends to my bed sheet had something cute about them. I never got over this one really. And if you presented a kimono to me (bonus: with flowers) I'd probably keep that in a safe. My most prized possessions.


So the undeniable result of this post is nostalgia. God knows I should have stopped time in my childhood. But the unfair fact of life is that nothing ever stops for us. Although slipping into the delusions and fantasies of childhood can give me a momentary peace, there's nothing less permanent than change. I'll never get over some phases of my life, but then again who really does?